Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   Neville's anti-cat behavior
Thursday, February 8 2018
Generally Neville is nothing but gentle and nice to everyone, but of late he has been mean to some of the cats, snarling and charging at them when they jump down into his recuperation fort. Neville has the least patience for the big fluffy cat Oscar, though overnight he also drove Charles from the fort. Most of Neville's antagonism towards the cats seems to grow out of food or toy guarding behavior, which evaporates the moment the food or toy is removed. But in the past day or two, it's been hard to figure what if anything Neville has been guarding. Perhaps he's just tired of being in the fort and being walked on and treaded upon by cats who are free to come and go as they choose. The result of Neville's anti-cat behavior has been that the cats (including Clarence) have been avoiding the fort lately. A great side-effect of this is that I've been sleeping better. This is because when they are around, the cats tend to tread on me or stand on uncomfortable parts of my my body (examples being my throat or testicles). Occasionally Oscar will even bite my hands or gently scratch my face, particularly in the hour before his breakfast.
This morning, Gretchen and I drove to our bank branch on Hurley Avenue to get a document notarized (this was the one we'd failed to get notarized back on January 31st). While there, Gretchen transacted some bank business, and, lacking anything to do while I waited, I made myself a cup of coffee from the bank's free coffee-making robot, thereby falling off my wagon of caffeine abstinence.

[REDACTED]


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