| Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state. |
Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").
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Friday, January 17 1997 I'm at heart a firm believer in do-it-yourself everything. Those guys who went to college and slept through class and cheated on their exams don't necessarily have a monopoly on knowledge in their respective fields. This is no more true than in the medical industry. I can treat my own maladies. So, when I was fifteen, I completed my circumcision, which had been botched in my infancy. I used a piece of flint and a stick. It was a spur of the moment thing, in the middle of the woods.
Yesterday I went through my pills and found some I thought were probably antibiotics and started taking one every eight hours to treat my infected salivary duct. They weren't antibiotics, though.
At Comet last night when the pill kicked in, I felt like I was on dextromethorphan (the active ingredient in cough syrup). I had these weird out of body feelings and a certain amount of anxiety mixed with euphoria. Apparently it was really just prescription pain killer. It was kind of cool, and the pain in my cheek went away for awhile. But I didn't cure my problem.
envy
Yeah, what Doug of Nilknarf says about me being jealous (a better word is envious) of his loving relationship with his wife is probably true. Like most heterosexual guys, I really do want to have a nice predictable, stable loving relationship with some gurrrrrl for whom I am deeply attracted and with whom I relate perfectly. But I am also terribly jaded by my failings to achieve this ideal. And I really enjoy the freedom of having no one to tell what I'm doing or what I've done. Except for you, my beloved audience.
more envy
Speaking of envious do you know who I'd be making very envious right now? Jessika Flint of Malvernia no less. Why? well, I neglected to mention in yesterday's musings that my friend Josh Furr had left a huge blue bottle of Skyy Vodka at my house. He'd snagged it from one of his father's New Years parties. Skyy Vodka comes in a beautiful dark blue bottle. I remember several occasions when Jessika and I would be in the liquor store getting the cheap liquor. She'd always stand for a moment and gaze at the Skyy Vodka, which was way out of our price range.Tonight I passed much time drinking Skyy Vodka flavoured with a tea bag and chatting with the housemates in the living room as they drank beer. It was so refreshing not to have the teevee on or the Nintendo in full effect. First it was Penley, Steve and Steve's girlfriend Shelly, all telling amusing stories. Shelly had one particularly funny but depressing story about going to a dress-up party with a date dressed up and fully in the role of an annoying American tourist (how horrible) while the dreamiest guy there, upon whom she then had a crush, slobbered over the stupidest girl because of the size of her breasts.
Then Elizabeth and others (John, Ches and Andrew) showed up and we proceded to analyze the more articulate among the Corner crazies. We ranked them on a ten point scale.
- One guy who resembles Fred Flintstone and who is famous for talking aggressively to no one in particular received a full ten.
- Wei the Alien is hard to categorize, but I'd give him a seven or eight.
- Sasha, who comes from Korea originally and who is 34 years old but looks like she's in her early twenties, received a 7. She's outgoing and can have normal conversations. But she's a weirdo too. She does little manic obsessive things with her hands that verge on dancing, and she also does crazy word associations. Today, Elizabeth reports she was throwing panty liners all around the Rising Sun Bakery and making mayhem for Jenfariello.
- Then there are guys like Spiritual Dave of Wertland Street and friends of the house like Liz West who score below five. Elizabeth says here emotional distress pushes her up the scale at times.
- Housemate Steve, however, was said to be absolutely sane. A paragon of sanity. Zero on the insanity scale.
It being my first Friday Night off since the bad stuff, I would have liked to go drinking or something. But temperatures had fallen into the teens as an enormous arctic air mass pushed east out of the plains.
I'm looking for a girlfriend and...
and today, courteousy of Infoseek, I've found yet another girlfriend!
Today's featured girlfriend is....
Tracy Dawn, a nice wholesome girl from somewhere.
For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?970117
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