Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



links

decay & ruin
Biosphere II
Chernobyl
dead malls
Detroit
Irving housing

got that wrong
Paleofuture.com

appropriate tech
Arduino μcontrollers
Backwoods Home
Fractal antenna

fun social media stuff


Like asecular.com
(nobody does!)

Like my brownhouse:
   fatness, blackheads and Pop-up Video
Sunday, January 18 1998
M

atthew Hart and Angela went off to play all day, leaving me with the dog and her bodily functions. I was completely uninspired to do anything except watch the History Channel. There was something disturbingly fascinating about Gulf War gadgetry that I hadn't remembered from the war when it was actually in the news.

In our drunkenness last night, Deya and I had agreed to go to the Washington DC Zoo with Jennifer, the wacky Tokyo Rose bartender. But come today, in the stark reality of hangover-intensified sobriety (when Jennifer called) I couldn't find Deya. Jennifer was serious about the zoo excursion, and she was going whether Deya and I were going or not. I decided to stay home. I had a lot of shit to do.

I

n other news, I got email from the South Pole today, where one of my readers happens to be. It's amusing to think that expensive government computers, networks and other machinery were assisting in the effort of carrying my crap to an exclusive government research station. By the way, I had no idea there was actually a domain called spole.gov. I still have yet to get an email from outer space, although I'm sure this particular email passed through space for part of its journey.


I

'm getting very sick of nasal blackhead strip advertisements. Has anyone done any research on blackheads? It's possible they serve a useful function. Pulling those suckers out may actually make you less healthy. Not that it isn't a satisfying diversion when you've already masturbated and cleaned your ears.

It's crossed my mind on occasion that adolescent acne possibly confers a survival advantage on those who have it, especially in stable times when people tend to live a long time. Acne causes image insecurity and probably results in delayed sexual activity, which means that when reproduction actually does happen, it is in the time of a parent's life when the child can be best provided for.

Sometimes I feel cheated that the breakout-prone phase of my life overlapped the crowsfeet phase, but it's really no big deal any more.


I

  was attacked by an email bomber last night. More than 3000 messages came my way. I have a suspect already, and he lives in Michigan. That wasn't as aggravating as a piece of semi-corrupted spam that blocked access to my email like a 12 inch long sideways turd in an environmentally-friendly toilet. I had to launch a telnet session to correct the situation.


H

ow about this? A search engine that claims to give a sense of the quality and decency of a site. It categorizes my musings as a business site with a four (out of five) star rating and "general" decency. Beyond being generally suspicious of internet ratings, I'm unnerved by any rating done to a site which has been at a specific URL for less than a month.

Oh, I see, the rating depends on the domain name. The old Comet URLs rate only two stars, but the exact same content on Spies.com gets a four star rating. Spies.com evidently has a reputation for quality that Comet.net lacked. And why not?


S

omething Jessika told me awhile ago is absolutely true. She said Pop-up Video (of which I count myself a fan) was invented to highlight older music videos that told stories. (Incidentally, young people today are learning a lot about a wide range of subjects from watching Pop-up Video; it turns out that it's a nearly perfect educational method.) These days, according to Jessika, music videos are designed more to highlight fashion. And it's true. I'm watching MTV and a Mighty Mighty Bosstones video was nothing more than a showcase of ska fashion, from the scooters to the skanking punks to the dapper dans. It seemed almost to reflect an insecurity on the part of the band that they might be mistaken for something other than a ska band. Then a techno band came on, and of course the video was all about ravers, their toys, their clothes, their fashion.


P

lease, MTV, if you must interview Noel Gallagher from Oasis, please provide subtitles. I have no idea what he's saying.
      Whatever bad I might have said about Princess Diana and Rory Miller, at least I could understand what they were saying.
        By the way, word on street has it that Tyler called the Immigration and Naturalization Service on Rory. Not even Matthew, Rory's worst enemy this side of the pond, would do something so flagrantly aggressive.

But I do like Austin Stories. I expected I would hate it, but tonight I gave the show a chance. It reminds me of the fucked up world I live in, but I'm convinced that if I could get a big grant and an MTV video crew, I could do much better. I don't think that's too conceited.

      Put the I before the E unless it follows after C.


I

t was a reclusive day overall. Me, my computer, the internet & cable teevee.

I had an amusing conversation with Matthew and Angela about the 700 pound guy who I saw on the Jerry Springer Show. The idea of his 400 wife having to wipe his fat ass for him was an especially appalling thing to ponder.

"Have you ever had sex with a really fat woman, Gus?" Matthew asked. No, I hadn't. "Neither have I," said Matthew.

I said that having a fat girl fetish would probably be an asset in our society, since they seem to be pretty much for the taking. It wasn't always that way; in the old days, I hear, it was the thin girls who had trouble getting laid. But I don't know. It seems girls can get laid if they want whenever they want. As a redneck once told me in West Virginia, "I like the pretty girls, but I like the ugly girls too."

one year ago

For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?980118

feedback
previous | next