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Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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Like my brownhouse:
   sick for the first time in over five years
Sunday, May 17 2015
Though the pain was only on the left side, my sore throat was still terrible this morning, making it unpleasant to swallow. The sharp twinges of pain with every reflex swallow had rendered all last night's sleep shallow and unrestful. But it wasn't just a lack of sleep that was making me feel bad this morning; I'd also developed a bit of a fever. When I first went to measure it, it was up to 100.7 degrees. Throughout the day it rose to as high as 102 before falling again, possibly under the effects of ibuprofen.
There was little I could do in this state except watch teevee. I couldn't sleep because of the painful swallows, but I couldn't sit up and do things at my computer (except send a few brief emails) because I didn't really have the strength. This morning I watched about four episoed of Ice Cold Gold, which is really not worth watching unless you have nothing else on your DVR or unless your brain is addled by fever. Periodically between episodes, I'd also watch brief bits of Say Yes to the Dress, since it was on live teevee. That's a much better show, and it's even possible to learn things on it. For example, today I learned the term ruched as it applies to dresses. According to what the dress professionals were saying, ruching is great for hiding problematic regions of a physique.
For years now, I've been bragging that I haven't gotten sick since I became vegan, and this has held true until this illness. I don't believe there is a causal relationship between being vegan and not getting the colds and flus that pass through the human population, but vegans are always delighted to hear me say this. (However, I do not know any other person, vegan or otherwise, who hasn't been sick in over five years.) That being said, there is some supporting evidence for the theory that my streak of diseaselessness depended on my veganism: remember that on May 7th I ate a veggie sausage-with-biscuit at the West End Café in West Asheville, and later, the next day, I ate most of Gretchen's (after she proved unable to finish hers). That biscuit, I would later learn, contained an obscene amount of butter. I still don't believe in the causal link, but that's a second piece of evidence for one.
The fact that I hadn't been sick in over five years meant that a lot of the details of my life had changed since the last time I was sick. For example, I'd never been sick in the brownhouse (although it seems I came close on December 12th, 2009). I went down there several times today in my weakened febrile state, though that was always without success until some time early this evening. I've also never been sick in the five years that we've had our current HDTV television setup; the last time I was incapacitated on the couch in front of the teevee, is was comprised of a 32 inch CRT displaying standard definition, and the DVR was a Tivo. One final thing: I haven't resorted to having a roll of toilet paper (for nose blowing) next to my computer workstation since before I had my present five-LCD setup. Some quick Google research indicates that the last time I was as sick as this was briefly in Costa Rica in 2008 (also associated with an orgy of non-veganism; though I wasn't trying to be vegan then), and the time before that was March of 2007.


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