he dark clouds which yesterday came and lingered, occasionally drizzling rain and flashing lightning, were all cleared out today, replaced with clear dry air. A tornado had killed a mother and child some 60 miles to the east, but nothing that interesting had happened with the weather here. Today the air was so dry that my lips chapped and I was forced to find some chapstick. My lips haven't been normal since all that moving I did for the antique store; it seems that one of the things I unthinkingly do whilst lifting heavy objects is lick my lips.
The dry air made acrylic paints behave completely unlike the way they had yesterday. In yesterday's humidity, acrylics dried slowly, acting sort of like oils. Today the paint dried almost immediately. What's more, I caught myself licking my lips compulsively as I worked.
But I was pleased with the results of my work, which you can see above and in the background.
I had an interesting idea today, although I fear that carrying through on it might sully the non-commercial nature of this website. But I do need money and I'd like to sell art. I have lots of readers, and the paintings I include in these entries get many more viewers than they'll ever get in any gallery. I was thinking about having an online auction of paintings featured as page decorations. After, say, a month's time, I ship the painting to whoever bidded the highest amount, no matter how low it was. It's just a weird idea I'm entertaining in lieu of actually looking for a job. I was really happy with this concept, thinking of ways to expand on it, perhaps auctioning art for other people or setting up an entirely new entity designed and managed by yours truly for the auctioning of art.
I started on yet another painting in the evening while drinking vodkatea. Whatever it takes to make me paint appears to be back for some mysterious reason. This is weird in lots of ways, all related somehow to the fact that it's the first time I've ever been substantially creative in such an immediately tangible way since leaving my childhood home.
Jessika is acting weird though I have no idea why. Perhaps things aren't as cool with her as I thought yesterday. Oh well, it's only my life I'm living now. I have to keep reminding myself of that one obvious fact.
kay, it's confirmed in email. Jessika is still mad at me. I feel stupid even saying so. Everything about her in these musings seems to piss her off. She's more neurotic than I thought.
On one of several trips to Olssen Hall this evening, I found Jessika and Deya in there attached to the Internet. I certainly wasn't comfortable doing anything in there with them present; I mean, like Jessika isn't on speaking terms with me yet again. I suppose the only way make her happy is for my musings to go back to their usual tiresome "Jessika is wonderful" mode. If she wants that sort of treatment, maybe she should go find another boyfriend. Not like I am or ever was her boyfriend, mind you. Oddly enough, she and I have experienced repeated messy breakups from an (almost) entirely non-sexual relationship.
The girls stayed out late tonight. Nowadays they go places without telling me anything, without any pressure on me to tag along at all. People are probably starting to wonder what happened to me. I'm a little lonely and I feel like I'm missing out on fun, but I find uses for this time. Tonight I worked a long time on that second painting I started earlier this evening. In the long run, I'd much rather put my time into creative efforts than boring old drunken socializing, an activity that never advances my position in the world anyway, especially in the presence of Jessika and Deya. When I next socialize, I will probably be more or less on my own, and I think I'll enjoy my freedom enormously.
one year ago
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