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February 22, 1997, Saturday

Hazy thing to say today: The most familiar reaction of humans is to conform their actions to the norm; in so doing they cheat themselves of the eternity that can only come of having been unique. No one is remembered for how they conformed.

Here I am at Comet.net, listening to that Dead Can Dance stuff, working on my musings and chatting with the Webmaster about the importance of <TITLE> tags in Altavista's relevance hierarchy. I'm mildly hungover today. I feel it in my bones. I'd thought that by sticking with vodka last night and drinking lots of water before bed I'd escape the hammer and thongs. I plan to drink again tonight of course, and probably hang out with the gothic contingent. There will be more to say after the night is done, no doubt. Oh, by the way, the latest issue of the Blue Penny Quarterly is out. You could try http://blue.comet.net/, but that hasn't been working, so maybe you could try http://persephone.comet.net/~bpq/.


And yes; the fates had delivered me a late birthday present!
I went to Plan 9 and flipped through the used CDs. After the luck of finding three worthy CDs the other day, it seemed unlikely that I would find anything cool today. I did find a Bad Religion CD, Recipe for Hate (1993) which was so battered that it only cost $4. It crossed my mind that the CD that I most seek, Nirvana's Incesticide, was so unlikely to ever turn up in the used CD rack that I might as well just give up and buy it new. But on a whim I checked the N section of the used rack. And yes; the fates had delivered me a late birthday present! Incesticide (1992) for $7. Snag-o-rama!

Back at my house I sat around listening to my new Incesticide CD. I used to have Incesticide on tape back in 1994 (it had Nirvana's Nevermind on the back). I loved that tape so much that I played it until it eventually broke. I probably would have played it twice as long had the tape held out. I used to listen to it while I did digital electronic experiments with an old 8088-based PC. The music is beautifully simple, more punk than average for Nirvana (any punk musical sensibility I have almost certainly has its origin in my appreciation for this album), and the lyrics and singing are excellent. They still evoke something in my subconscious that no other music does. This may well be my favourite album of all time.

The Bad Religion is also good (but not nearly as good). The lyrics are intellectually sardonic, preachy and politically correct, but in a mysterious way that I can abide. The singing has a forceful naive (but "clean") energy about it that is rare in punk. I always liked Bad Religion mostly for how the singing contradicts the simple and noisy guitars.

I played for my housemates some videotape that I'd shot on the 19th. It featured the antics of the goths at the Hillel Jewish Center, Monster Boy's house. For the most part these anitcs were conventional human activities: washing dishes, preparing food, driving cars, walking around, conversing about ordinary events. Goths go so far out of their way to appear odd (they all wear spiked collars for example) that you almost expect their day-to-day living to be unusual as well. But no, it isn't. Andrew remarked, "they're just regular kids."

I was bored and so went to Goth Central, where I found Theresa and Persad with Theresa's sister Angela and Angela's boyfriend Aaron. They were drinking good beers and watching the videotape of the drunken part of my birthday. The tape had somehow mysteriously "turned up" just after the goths came by my house last night.

I was hoping the other goths would swing by, but Cecelia the Brazilian Girl was with Jesse and maybe others drinking tussin while Monster Boy Glenn was at the C&O washing dishes.

There's a bit of soap opera going on in the goth world about which I had not been aware. You recall some days ago I wrote about Theresa's legal troubles stemming from her and Persad beating the hell out of the Weirdo Doug? Well, today I learned that the Weirdo Doug had, at the time, just taken up with Rebecca, Monster Boy's old goth girlfriend. Yes... Rebecca had abandoned Monster Boy for the Weirdo Doug. Now, I have had problems in my life, don't get me wrong. But I have never been abandoned by a girl for anyone as ...let me find the word... ...how about "cheesy"... as the Weirdo Doug. It must really suck for Monster Boy to have been judged inferiour to the Weirdo Doug. But goth is partly about misery...

The pieces were so gothic and creepy that I couldn't keep track of which was which and soon I'd lost my queen.
There was, as usual, a not-too subtle conflict between Theresa and Persad brewing. After Angela and Aaron left, it came more to the surface. Persad is mad because Theresa had the boy Jesse over to Goth Central last night (and, if you read these musings, you know Theresa and Jesse had a tryst some months ago while Persad was participating as a guinea pig in one of UVA's many "cold studies"). They bitched at and abused each other for well over an hour in front of me. It's not even weird for me to witness this anymore. It's too familiar now. During some of this tension, Persad and I played a game of chess, the first game I think I have played against a human since 1989 or 1990. The pieces were so gothic and creepy that I couldn't keep track of which was which and soon I'd lost my queen. But I rallied and started kicking some serious ass until somehow Persad got his queen and one knight in among my pieces and checkmated my king. Then I left so Persad and Theresa could fight each other in peace.

Theresa said she might come by my place later that evening, but she never did. I fell asleep at about 10:30pm. A pathetic Saturday night if ever there was.

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