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January 24 1998, Saturday

M

ost of the day I had news shows on. I've been so wrapped up with the History Channel that I've neglected current events. I was genuinely surprised by how big a deal this (latest) Clinton sex scandal is becoming. Do I care that Clinton received blow jobs from some young chick in the Whitehouse? Does anyone? I think the people who are upset about this thing hate Clinton anyway. I count myself among Clinton's opposition simply because he's never manifested anything remotely resembling leadership. He's proven himself more a friend to the forces of evil than he has to the forces of good. True, he's been the lesser of a multitude of obnoxious evils on several occasions, and I've voted for him and relished his victories over schmucks far worse, but it's nice to see him being tormented for his deceptive slippery ways.

Wouldn't it have been nice, however, had the press focused on other things wrong with Clinton that actually affect people outside his family:

  • The sellout to corporate interests on all environmental policies.
  • The infuriating capitulation to ignorance evidenced by Clinton's initial support of the Communciations Decency Act.
  • Likewise, the absurd ignorance manifested by encryption export policy.
  • The Justice Department's deception of Unabomber Ted Kaczynski's brother, telling him that a death penalty would not be pursued against Ted if he'd provide evidence necessary to implicate him, only to turn around and seek the death penalty anyway. This is just the sort of thing that gives the word "Government" an ominous ring.
  • The absurdity of "don't ask don't tell," and how it represents an unusual lack of leadership even by the standards of modern presidents.
That said, I really want to get a look at that blue dress with the semen stains squirted all over it. I'm making a note right now to have a sexual fantasy tonight in which I'm "the president" and some young intern in a blue dress is giving me head and as I come I spill my seed all over her nice blue dress. Of course I'll apologize, but she'll smile and say, "oh, that's alright, I'll take care of it!"

Sorry if that was unpleasant, but that was exactly what was on my mind just that way just now.

M

eanwhile I worked on setting up my 25 MHz 486 desktop box in preparation to install LINUX on it. That involved swapping around hard drives, soldering in a new power connector, and downloading and installing some software such as boot disks and root disks and what not, all of which is unfamiliar to me.

T

he sweetest song in the world is "Blimps Go Ninety."

    I should pause to point out, however, that, according to the History Channel, the Hindenberg averaged about eighty miles per hour during transatlantic voyages. That's the pop-up you'll never see for a video that will never be made.
Today I adopted it as my personal anthem:

Blimps go 90 on with the show
Couldn't you see that?
Now didn't you know?
Aerosol halos -- films of the flag
Rifle games for seven-year-olds
What a drag
Yeah now that's a drag

This is not a vacation
There is no place to go
Weep sad freaks of the nation
Where blimps go 90
And you can't find me

Senator sipping on Gentleman Jack
"Go boy" they told me
"Now don't you look back"
But don't you worry
I promise to not
I'll join your Canary Court
Fit into the the slot
Say what have you got?

Oftentimes I'm reminded
Of the sweet young days
When I poured punch for the franchise
And thus was knighted
Got so excited

Blimps go 90 on with the show
Couldn't you see that?
Now didn't you know?
Hey now didn't you know?

Imagine the seven year olds with their juvenile rifle games and the blimps doing 90 overhead, while the canaries make decisions in their mineshaft courts in the skies.

Aside from the lyrics, what makes this song so beautiful? Maybe it's the amateurish violin playing in the background, the sad sincerity of the vocals, or the jangly arpeggiated guitar cords.
It's to be found on Alien Lanes by Guided by Voices.

Y

ou know your kitchen is a disaster when the only clean surface you can find is the underside of a pot lid. That's where I just prepared this peanut butter sandwich that I am now eating.

one year ago
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