some anonymous psychological advice I got today by email

I just wanted to let you know that, having read a few days worth of your'musings,' I've come to worry that perhaps I am witnessing the effects aserious mental disorder. I do not mean this as hate mail -- I wouldsimply ask you to consider, for a moment, the following description ofSchizoid Personality Disorder:

"A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and arestricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonalsettings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety ofcontexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

1. neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, includingbeing part of a family
2. almost always chooses solitary activities
3. has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences withanother person
4. takes pleasure in few, if any, activities
5. lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degreerelatives
6. appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others
7. shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity
   "

I only bring this to your attention because I would hate to think that Iam amusing myself with your ramblings at the expense of yourdeteriorating mental health. There is nothing inherently unhealthyabout keeping a journal, but I get the feeling that by posting thedetails of your life on the internet you are, in effect, soliciting boththe attention, approval or disapproval, and reactions of strangers. Itis as though your musings are a blatant manifestation of insecurity: youwrite in your March 30 Musing that you "feel like [you] have nothing incommon with [your] housemates, and also like [you're] acting completelyartificial around them most of the time." The act of publishing theseobservations, with specific references to the people who you feel havealienated you, seems like an attempt to both validate your emotions andfurther isolate yourself from those around you.

You go on to say, "Jessika and Deya don't understand me at all. To themI'm a glorified doll..." Regardless of the accuracy of yourobservation, please consider for a moment what you are accomplishing bywriting expressing this in a public forum: you are presenting yourselfto a world of strangers as someone who is misunderstood by the peoplewith whom he surrounds himself, yet who is taking no actions to changethis or attempt to achieve "a more fulfilling, more interesting life." In fact, all you seem to accomplish is the creation of an artificiallyconstructed sense of importance.

Take, for instance, the way in which you publicized a personal conflictby posting a series of e-mails between yourself and Rebecca on October20, 1997. For most people, private conflicts are private conflicts, yetyou chose to "the last word" by publishing your conversation withplay-by-play commentary. In fact, I assume that you will most likelycopy this e-mail and post it on your site and include refutations orsarcastic compliments on its accuracy. This behavior suggests someonewho is redirecting feelings of helplessness in his real life byexercising total control over the life he constructs on a website.

In any event, I'm just suggesting that you look into treatment.