The Trench Coat Mafia Website and Web Page

Hello and Heil Hitler! My name is Eric and this is my web page! I hate jocks, Jews and jiggaboos. I loathe wops, spics and blood-engorged ticks. On particularly bad days I kick dogs and shoot cats. But, rest assured, I'm badder than all that! I'm building a series of explosives to take down my school on Hitler's birthday. It seems a fitting tribute to this glorious man who did so much for white culture.

BASIC RULES:
Hitler is cool.
Jocks suck
and football sucks too.
Negroes need to put down
their forties and
head back to Africa.
School sucks
and should be bombed.
Teachers are
the real death camp guards.
The holocaust never happened,
but it would have been cool if it had.
The big secret is that
cheerleaders have more problems
with gas than average Americans.
Doom is a fun game.
German industrial music is better than
all other music.
If something explodes,
it's cooler than if it doesn't.

How to build a pipe bomb:
1. Get a metal pipe
2. Seal up one end with epoxy resin.
3. Pack it with explosives and nails
4. Put in a fuse.
5. Seal the other end with epoxy, leaving a millimeter of space around the fuse
6. Put it somewhere where there are jocks, jews or jiggaboos and light the fuse!
7. Run away!

How to shoot someone with a gun:
1. Make sure you have a gun and it's loaded and cocked
2. Point the gun at the person, preferably at a vital organ
3. Pull the trigger
4. Shout "Heil Hitler!" and run away real quick!

How to poison someone whom you hate:
1. Buy some rat poison
2. Slit open a hot dog and put poison inside hot dog (use a tofu-pup if the intended victim is a vegetarian).
3. Give hot dog to the person you hate and make them eat it. Gentle persuasion is best, not strong armed tactics. Good: "Eat this hot dog, it's good for you and surely tasty as well." Bad: "Eat this hot dog because I want you to die, motherfucker!"

How to get back at a jock:
1. Get a brown paper bag and some gasoline
2. Go for several days without taking a crap while eating lots of Taco Bell and drinking plenty of Banana Red Mad Dog
3. Crap in the bag (it's best to do this outside, as the odour will quickly overwhelm the ventilation of any conventional suburban bathroom.)
4. Pour gasoline on the bag
5. Make sure the jock is at home. Football Sunday afternoons and Monday nights are ideal.
6. Put bag on jock's porch.
7. Set fire to bag.
8. Ring jock's door bell.
9. Shout "Heil Hitler!" and run!!
10. From a distance, observe jock stomping bag and getting your dung on his shoe (or, better yet, bare feet).

How to download porn:
1. Go to a porn website using a web browser like Netscape.
2. Right-click on the pictures you like
3. Save them to your disk. Shout "Heil Hitler!"
4. Double click on them whenever you want. You DON'T have to be online!

NEW! How to disable Net Nanny and other patronizing instances of censorware:
1. When they least expect it, pull a gun on whoever it is in control of the censorware password, be it the librarian, the teacher, the principal, or your parents.
2. Tie up this person/these people in a dark sound-proof room.
3. Ask for the password. Ask nicely. When you have it, try it.
4. If the password works, leave the person tied up and surf the web leisurely and in complete freedom until you're bored with it. Make any printouts you may need for later. Revel in your freedom! Shout "Seig Heil!" or "Heil Hitler!" at the top of your lungs.
5. If the password doesn't work, get a pair of bolt cutters and snip off one of your prisoner's fingers. Offer an American flag or an old copy of the Bill of Rights if your prisoner needs to staunch the blood (he/she probably will). Ask for the password, once again, politely.
6. When you have it, try it again.
7. Repeat steps 3-6 until you have a working password or until your prisoner(s) have no fingers left. Then you can start with the toes, move on to genitalia, ears, limbs, eyes, and pretty much anything that sticks out. It's rare to have a prisoner who will hold out longer than three fingers, though some people are pretty serious about preserving the innocence of the youth of today.

A picture of me:

My other girlfriend:

I'm sad to report that the Marines have rejected me as a recruit. I told them I wasn't taking any medication, even though I've been on Ritalin and Contentamine Extra-Strength for the past three years. So it looks like I'm going to have to wage my own war if I want to taste the blood and dirt of the battlefield.

But that's okay; we of the Trench Coat Mafia still march around, military-style in our trench coats, especially in the school hallways, honing and developing our master plan. We will conquer the entire world once we get a few things straight and make our bombs!

So if you're not a jock, jew or jiggaboo, not a wop, spic or country hick, not a jap, slant or my old gypsy aunt and want to get with the program, post in my non-jew Whites-only Hitler Memorial Forum, or, alternatively (as a concession to those not comprising the Master Race), my new colored forum!

peace
Eric

Littleton, Colorado isn't a great place to grow up as a white boy. If I had my druthers, I'd be anywhere else at all, even in some place with lots of malt-liquor-drinking, rhyme-busting, ass-capping negroes and perhaps a few squinty-eyed, dog-eating chinese people! Here in Littleton, there's just no place to hang out, only endless subdivisions all the way to the foot of the Rockies. Nobody thought to leave room for parks, youth centers, or places for me to test my explosives. This might seem kind of gay, but I'd like to live in a place with a little sense of history or the importance of the natural world. Much like Hitler, I'm a goth, see! I want old cemetaries and gnarly trees, not the contender for biggest indoor mall in the Mountain Timezone! In Littleton, wherever it's not strip development, it's all cookie-cutter mansion-housing on undersized lots. There's not a whole lot to do. So, when I'm not out bowling with my friends or playing endless hours of Doom, I pretty much keep to my Daddy's garage night and day, making pipe bombs with my Daddy's tools. My Daddy is helpful, even if he doesn't agree with my ideology. I will say this: his bombs blow up much more reliably than mine do!

This is just child's play, of course, but it's part of our preparation for the Big Assault that is coming (Hitler be willing). Our master plan is to kill at least 500 people at our high school, besiege the local neighborhood, seize the airport, and then crash a plane full of jocks and cheerleaders into the Pentagon.

By nature, I'm fairly depressed most of the time. It pretty much goes with the territory when you're a middle-American suburban goth with a penchant for computer gaming and bomb making. As I've already said, I'm on medication, but the regular FDA-approved stuff doesn't quite cut it. So I'm into illegal drugs when I can get them. But when I can't, it's time to take over the counter medication to excess. It's the "as directed" part that makes conventional OTCs lame.

My recent OTC of choice is cough syrup. I recommend it highly. It's the best thing after a hard day of being called "gay" by a schoolyard full of fashionable jocks and cheerleaders.

I'm extremely upset about the execution of Timothy McVeigh. I don't care what anyone says, that guy really knew how to blow things up. It's a shame I will never be able to learn at the feet of this true master, this hero to all things that go Boom. My H4X0R friends were recently able to obtain a video of the execution, which I've heard is illegal to watch. So, in the spirit of St. Timothy McVeigh, watch the video as yet another way to tell the government where to go.

Sorry if I'm rambling, but I have a lot to say and not very much time to say it. Heil Hitler!

Links:
Why Skinheads Suck!
GodHatesFags.com - You have to respect the refreshing intolerance of these religious kooks!

Hitler was an old school Goth! He did not die in vain! Neither shall I!

WHAT I DON'T SEE I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I DON'T KNOW I DON'T WANT
WHAT I DON'T WANT I DON'T NEED
WHAT I DON'T NEED I DON'T FEEL
WHAT I DON'T FEEL I DON'T SAY
WHAT I DON'T SAY I DON'T DO
WHAT I DON'T DO I DON'T LIKE
WHAT I DON'T LIKE I WASTE

I HAVE COME TO ROCK YOUR WORLD
I HAVE COME TO SHAKE YOUR FAITH
ANATHEMATIC ANARCHIST
I HAVE COME TO TAKE MY PLACE

I AM YOUR UNCONSCIOUSNESS
I AM UNRESTRAINED EXCESS
METAMORPHIC RESTLESSNESS
I
I AM YOUR APOCALYPSE
I AM YOUR BELIEF UNWROUGHT
MONOLITHIC JUGGERNAUT
I

SHOCKWAVE
MASSIVE ATTACK
ATOMIC BLAST
SON OF A GUN IS BACK

CHAOS-PANIC
NO RESISTANCE
DETONATIONS IN A DISTANCE

APOCALYPSE NOW
WALLS OF FLAME
BILLOWING SMOKE
WHO'S TO BLAME

FORGED FROM STEEL
IRON WILL
SHIT FOR BRAINS
BORN TO KILL

ALL ARE EQUAL
NO DISCRIMINATION
SON OF A GUN
A SIMPLE EQUATION

SON OF A GUN
MASTER OF FATE
BOWS TO NO GOD, KINGDOM OR STATE

WATCH OUT
SON OF A GUN
SUPERHERO NUMBER 1

if you dont like it, well.....you know what to do.

anything i dont like---SUCKS

Favorite WBS Chat Rooms: ich bin ein auslander

Home Page: http://members.aol.com/rebdomine

Here's my tentative masterplan for seizing Columbine High School by strategic military assault: