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facial hair-hair that grows on the faces of men. Occasionally it also grows in noticeable quantities on the faces of women, but even then, except in the cases of "bearded ladies" (prized as rare beauties in France) there isn't enough to write home about. Some men like to grow goatees for that grunge look or sideburns for their girlfriends who would much prefer Elvis in their beds.

Most of the Big Fun guys avoid growing much facial hair. Oh sure, even Johnny Boom Boom has been known to sport a discrete little fallen eyebrow at the end of his chin, but without a razor he'd surely start hating his face in the space of a few days. In general, you see, Johnny Boom Boom is not a big fan of facial hair. For example, he once use the term "dead cat" as a metaphor for the beard of Ben Caines (a Philadelphia guy who lived for a time in Charlottesville at Altamont and Fontaine). Zachary seems capable of growing a fairly dense beard, and he has been known to in the past. In May of 1996, he had a double mohawk beard that echoed the haircut on top of his head.

What with most of the girls shaving their legs and armpits these days, the Big Fun bathrooms are full of disposable razors. They're pink, though, apparently to scare guys into buying their own razors. But they work just fine on the masculine face. The his/her product trend is clearly designed to double the number of products in the bathrooms of America, to the fiscal advantage of the product manufacturers. But if a guy doesn't mind shaving with a pink razor, dying his hair with a box featuring a female model, washing his head with shampoo from a pink flowery plastic bottle or using deodorant that is "strong enough for a man but pH balanced for a woman," he doesn't need any personal hygiene products for his own gender.

Fairview Farms-the seven hundred acre estate just north of Scottsville, VA, dominated by "the mansion." It includes houses rented by Peirce and Nelly, Farmer Dan and his wife, one other family, and the residents of Big Fun. Althia Hurt is the landlord for the entire estate.

Farmer Dan-actually, Farmer Dan's name is Geoff, and he is a very nice guy from England. As the most agriculturally-inclined and long-term of Althia Hurt's several tenants, he's had to deal with many ordeals, including attempted seductions and her telling the Malvern Girls that he "is not pulling his weight." In addition to rent, Althia expects Farmer Dan to maintain the properties of Fairview Farms.

farmer's blow-to force mucous membranes from a nostril with a blast of exhaled air whilst pinching shut the other nostril. This is done with neither a handkerchief nor a piece of tissue paper; the mucous flies through the air until it hits something. Thus any onlookers can see exactly what is produced in the process. Needless to say, farmer's blow is not something done amongst polite company or on first dates. While Shira mostly uses the term "farmer's blow" to describe this act, the Gus prefers the term "hill-billy handkerchief," which has the same meaning.

Farrell, from the photo posed with Brother Clause 12-95

Farrell-Matthew S. Farrell, a sort of patron saint for the Malvern Girls. He appears now and again, always wearing a bow tie, always driving his ridiculous yellow non-convertible Spitfire which is forever open to the elements. He is unabashedly generous with things such as vino, wormwood, tussin, and on one occasion, coconuts. He also brought Sara a queen-sized bed when she was trying to sleep on deflating air mattresses. He takes a great deal of interest in the Generation-X type things going on at Big Fun and is hungry for documentation about it. Thus the Gus, a compulsive documenter, has been an unexpected resource to him.

fatalism-the belief that one has no control over ones fate. This is similar to the Calvinist doctrine of "Predestination" which holds that the future is fixed and nothing can be done about it. A fatalist, however, might believe that the future is alterable, but not at the hands of one person. Astrology is not a fatalistic belief system even if it does make predictions based on the circumstances of someones birth. Most astrologers believe that through free will it is possible to overcome problems resulting from the arrangement of the heavens on the occasion of ones birth. But, it must be pointed out, even free will is determined by astrology (usually governed by the placement of Mars).

Many people known to Big Fun have fatalistic tendencies. The Malvern Girls have a friend in Philadelphia, Kevin Pervis, who likes to use hypodermic needles that he finds abandoned on the ground; he reasons that if he gets AIDS then it was his fate all along. Zachary's attitude towards driving seems to be based on a form of fatalism. And anyone who rides with him has to have an attitude something like, "If I die in a crash then it was meant to happen."

In West Virginia there is a branch of Pentecostalism which features, as a sacrament, the handling of poisonous snakes. The reasoning of the "Snake Handlers" is that if one truly trusts in the Lord, there is nothing to fear from a snake. Perhaps they are both right and righteous because I have heard that none of the "Snake Handlers" has ever died from a snake bite. None of the Charlottesville kids with pet snakes are fatalistic. They persist in handling snakes devoid of both attitude and fangs.

Fifties-the decade that precedes the sixties. It is difficult to say what exactly happened in the Fifties, since the recordings and photographs from that time all have the artifacts and distortions that contemporary technology and intervening years have imposed. What seems apparent, however, is that Americans in the fifties were a combination of smug, frightened and naïve. While they had defeated the Nazis in World War II, now there were communists and atomic bombs to contend with. And while the Nazis and the Communists were good examples of governments gone wrong, nothing bad at all could be said about Western Democracy, scientific discoveries, the institution of the family, and capitalist economic forces.

Mothers stayed at home to raise children and Daddy went off to work. People adhered to strict gender roles concerning clothing, hair styles and jewelry. People lived in suburbs and commuted to work. But shopping malls had yet to be invented, so people still were in the habit of going to urban centers to obtain provisions such as clothes, cars and appliances.

Music was undergoing a revolution, and so was youth culture. Though rock and roll and leather clad motorcycle enthusiasts were unlike anything that had preceded them, they were both non-idealistic and largely unrebellious. But they were seeds sown that, in the mid sixties, would yield a harvest that would ultimately shake America to her very foundation.

fire-one of the four ancient elements. In astrology, fire implies flamboyance, spirit, arrogance and initiative. Fire signs are Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius. At Big Fun, fire signs are treated with ambivalence or respect. Aries, however, are always suspect.

Firetruck of Beer-a Philadelphia-area band and an amusing expression. One evening while on santa clause, Sara Poiron wrote "Firetruck of Beer" on dozens of Post-It notes and put them up all over the kitchen.

five o'clock day-a day that is continually overcast. If one were to guess the time without the assistance of a watch at any moment on such a day, one would probably guess five o'clock. There is a painting with this name by the Gus that hangs over the Big Fun stereo. Five o'clock days are the norm in Oberlin, but they are rare near Scottsville.

five-oh-the police; this term is used mostly by Matthew Hart, Zachary, Raphæl, Ray and the Gus. The Gus first heard this term in the slang from New Haven, Connecticut, in 1992.

fixed-an astrological term referring to a talent to carry through on projects, coupled with an inflexible attitude. Astrological signs that are fixed are Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. The sun is in these signs in the middle of each of the four seasons.

flies-two-winged insects known by scientists as Musca domestica. They transmit such diseases as typhoid fever, cholera, dysentery, pinworms, hookworms, and some tapeworms. The males live for 15 days and the females live for 26 days. The eggs hatch within a day and the larvæ take five days to reach full size. Pupation takes five days (The Audubon Society Field Guide to North American Insects and Spiders by Lorus and Margery Milne, Chanticleer Press, ©1980, pages 681-682).

As predicted, with the warm weather, Big Fun has become primarily the residence of flies. This has something to do with both the amount of accumulated garbage and the doors and windows being perpetually open. If someone does try to close a door or contain the garbage, the Dragon (a major force of entropy) is sure to punch the door open and rip choice morsels through the sides of the garbage bags.

As soon as there is enough light in the morning, the flies rise from their slumber (no one is sure where they sleep) and they go in search of the faces of sleeping Big Fun regulars. It is still hours before any sane Scottsville punk has any intent of getting out of bed, but even so, the flies have to be dealt with. This sends the weary sleeper completely under his blankets with perhaps a tiny air hole or else to deal with waves of hangover-flavoured intestinal gas on a case by case basis. The flies can still be heard taking off and landing on the blanket much like aircraft in a microscopic medieval airline. Hours later, the flies can be counted upon to make breakfast into anything but a normal domestic affair.

Matthew Hart thinks that a good way to kill flies wholesale would be to set up a trap consisting of a mannequin's head sticking out from under some blankets on a couch, with some mechanism to simulate steady breathing. The flies would see the mannequin and take it for a Big Fun house guest. Alighting upon the mannequin's face, however, the flies would be caught inextricably in a layer of honey that had been smeared cunningly all over the mannequin's face.

In mid-May 1996, the human residents of Big Fun finally revolted against the unwanted fly race that had enslaved them. They purchased sticky fly tape and hung it from the ceilings, and this quickly eliminated all the flies with the habit of buzzing around near the ceiling. True to Darwinian principles, however, remaining was a large population of flies with the habit of flying around between delicious sites on the floor. They especially delighted in landing on bare human feet for the obtaining of organic toe cheese. This remaining population was severely attenuated with a subsequent human fly swatter assault. This left only a minor resident fly population living in the fringe dogsmell-couch habitat.

flush the toilets!-a cry that goes out when it is discovered that Melanie, Eric the Huffanator's girlfriend, is on her way over. This expression dates back to an incident in 1995 in which a very angry Melanie, suspecting that Vanna (one of the few real punk rock girls in Charlottesville) was doing stuff with the Huffanator, grabbed her in the Trax women's room and put her head in the toilet and flushed. This destroyed the spikes Vanna had so meticulously installed in her hair earlier that evening. Since Melanie was once also concerned about the Huffanator hanging out with the Malvern Girls, and since the toilets in Big Fun are often in desperate need of flushing, this phrase has more than just humourous intent.

fly-attractive in a sexual way. This term has been uttered by such people as Morgan Anarchy and Matthew Hart, usually in the context of "Is she fly?" or "Are there going to be any fly babes there?" or "Did you see any fly Tandem chicks down in the Mudhouse?"

Fontaine-on Fontaine Avenue near the city limits of Charlottesville, in the steeply roofed attic of a white stucco house, is where Sara and Jessika eventually ended up following their eviction from Altamont in the Spring of 1995. At the time Zachary was living in the attic and needed help paying his rent. The place came to be known as "Fontaine."

The house was slowly abandoned by almost all the downstairs tenants, and Sara and Jessika gradually moved into unoccupied rooms and claimed them as personal space. The backyard quickly filled with garbage that the trash man for some reason utterly refused to haul away. This trash included a large package of fish that Raphæl had saved from being thrown out at the C & O. Sara Poiron still speaks of the flies and unpleasant smells of that summer.

It was mostly the experience at Fontaine that convinced the Malvern Girls that there had to be a better way. That better way, Big Fun, seems to be dogged by far more challenges than Fontaine ever was.


Fratville-along and off Rugby Road near UVA there are numerous fraternities and sororities full of stupid college kids who every weekend maximize their intake of Natural Light, the single most horrible beer on the planet. These frat people are fun if only for the fact that they are so ridiculous. In the early fall, the Gus, Jατασyα and Matthew Hart were fond of infiltrating this scene, which came to be called "Fratville."

freak out-enter a state of desperate anxiety over a situation. Drugs are one of the most common reasons for a freak out: at Big Fun the following have caused freak outs in the Gus alone: nutmeg overdose, Ritalin combined with santa clause and tussin combined with datura. Some people are so easily disturbed that "weird conversation" or being "hit on" can cause them to freak out.

fresh blood-new people introduced into the Big Fun community when it seems that the regular people there are becoming too familiar and predictable. Fresh blood can be sacrificial, as in the case of the various Bad ____ people who usually only visit once, or it can be the start of a new and glorious addition to the community, as was the case for Matthew Hart and Peirce and Nelly.

Fresh Fields-the all-natural supermarket on 29 North where Matthew Hart worked in the days before he became a lawn-mowing paralegal.

Matthew Hart is a diligent and enthusiastic worker, even when hungover, but despite this, he raised the ire of his supervisors on more than one occasion. There was that first or second day of work that he showed up with his hands dyed blue-black (he'd been dying his hair). All that day he was forced to keep his hands in rubber gloves as he bagged groceries. Matthew Hart was also sternly reprimanded for having tiny logos on his tee shirts, and for even the hint of a whiff of a suggestion that he might consider getting a mohawk. "You might think you're alternative," his boss tells him, "but if you want to work for us you have to look reasonable."

Fresh Fields is a nice place to shop if one is hungry, since the store makes many free samples available and these can be eaten with nearly unnoticed gluttony.

Fridays After Five-during Jατασyα Season, Charlottesville hosts free concerts on the east end of the Downtown Mall. The music is usually jazz, rock, country or blues. Slackjaw is as crazy as the music ever gets. At these concerts one can, if one has an appropriate ID, purchase overpriced vino and beer, though it is relatively easy to smuggle alcohol into Fridays After Five if one uses common sense.

The crowd at Fridays After Five is a good mix of Wahoos, families, retirees and wholesome high school kids, which considerably dilutes the normally alternative flavour of the Downtown Mall. The mall rats always turn out in force for Fridays After Five, though they never stay with the band for very long; they get bored and end up chilling in front of the Paramount.

fucked-incapacitated by multiple drugs used to excess.

fuck shit up-to cause wanton destruction or at least temporary alteration to property, societal norms, or the states of minds, with a view to relieving boredom among the people of Big Fun.

funny papers-LSD distributed on small pieces of blotter paper.

Gallery Neo-perhaps the most pretentious of the art galleries of downtown Charlottesville. The gallery, on 2nd Street just off the Downtown Mall, is run by Lydia Conder, and its openings are well provided with vino and eats. Attendees at its openings are usually very well dressed and cultured, except when the Grand Air Trine walks in, providing such a diversion that they become the only people photographed.

gang-banger wanna-be-a pre-pubescent child, usually a black male, who wishes he was a member of an urban street gang. Such children are often extremely obnoxious and aggressive.

In one instance the leader of the gang-banger wanna-bes, Germain (aka "Loverboy" and "Blue Eyed Motherfucker") repeatedly rode a stolen bicycle back and forth over the temporarily unsupervised bicycle of the Gus, and other times he has punched girls, including Sara Poiron.

The gang banger wanna-bes are difficult to deal with; our society disapproves of attacking children, but what is one to do when assaulted by children throwing bottles and light bulbs?

Garrett Square-a housing project just a little to the south of the center of the Downtown Mall in Charlottesville; it is located between Monticello Avenue and the railroad tracks. Referred to by locals as "the Hood," it is a pretty tame ghetto by urban standards.

The place is not ethnically diverse; the Gus saw a school bus unload there once, and with the 20 or so little black kids was only one chubby little white kid who appeared to have no friends.

It is thought by some at Big Fun that should crack cocaine ever be a necessary ingredient of a perfect evening, Garrett Square might well prove to be a valuable resource.

Gathering, the-a cult headquartered in Nelson County near Schuyler. The basic beliefs of The Gathering are derived from Judaism, Christianity, UFO folklore, Astrology, and Mental Telepathy. They are led by a guru named Tom Ringrose who in December of 1995 predicted that in a month's time the alien invasion would commence, and all who knew best would flee to the Charlottesville area, where they would be protected by a dish-shaped formation of soapstone that underlies the area and supposedly concentrates psychic energy. The Gathering hosted the infamous "Jehu End of the World Party" as it is known at Big Fun.

Gemini-the 3rd sign of the zodiac. The sun passes through this sign in late May through mid June. This sign is a mutable air sign and people born with heavenly bodies, the horizon, or most particularly the sun in it tend to be loquacious, somewhat superficial, undisciplined, extroverted and (though they deny it) susceptible to pathological romantic urges (the Gus, for example, reports that the only girlfriends he's ever had to break up with have been Geminis). The sign is typical of people who know how to say what is on their minds, and who want to tell as many people as possible. Frequently Geminis are the people who give voice to the feelings of a group, since Geminis never really retain their feelings; they simply communicate and are thus rarely burdened by repressed emotions. As communicative as they are, Geminis spark many ideas amongst their friends, who are forced to do their own sorting out between good and bad ideas; Geminis never worry about consequences or practicality in the utterances they make. Geminis should never be placed in occupations where reliability is a critical concern. Famous people who have Gemini for a sun sign include John F. Kennedy, George Bush, Paul McCartney, the artist formerly known as Prince, James Brown, Andy Griffith, Clint Eastwood and Waylon Jennings. Geminis known to or part of Big Fun include Sara Poiron, Shira, Zachary Firkly, Nicole O'Shay, Bad Sex, Allie Vining, the four Gemini Kittens, and an indecisive banana upon which Sara tattooed "artichoke [Gemini Symbol]."

Gemini Kittens-Senovia's four kittens, born just before midnight on Tuesday, June 11, 1996 (during the Nomadic Festival). Two of the kittens are striped and as such appear to have been fathered by Stink, whereas two are black and may be Pywacket's children. One of the first consequences of the birth of the Gemini Kittens was their each being claimed by various Big Fun people. For example, Raphæl snapped up "Big Stink," the larger of the two Stink kittens. Others claiming kittens include Steve Weiner and Nada.

generation gap-a cultural dissimilarity between two groups of people that results from differences in age. Generation gaps are the direct consequence of societal mores against older people socializing with younger people. Even within such age-diverse communities as families, socialization between younger and older people is discouraged; for example, it is considered improper for a teenager to take his parents to a rave. There is evidence, however, that generation gaps break down in circumstances where socialization takes place despite mores. One example is the musical predilection of Hoagie, the Gus' mother. After repeated captive exposure to Nirvana recordings in the early 1990s while playing games on a computer in the Shaque, she went from saying "what's wrong with that guy's voice?" and "it just sounds like noise" to occasionally singing along, to experiencing melancholy upon hearing news of the suicide of Kurt Cobain (the singer/guitarist for Nirvana) in April 1994.

In some contexts, older people are more open to exposure to the currents of youth culture. One such context is art galleries, where wealthy older people have learned that buying art of today's young people can be a good investment. In the process of entering an art gallery, older people may also be exposed to music from today's youth culture. When the Gus was sitting at the desk of bozART Gallery one boring Saturday afternoon, he was playing "Moth" by Tao Joneztown (an obscure Oberlin death metal band) and an old lady came in. Instead of fleeing instantly at the sound of Satan's spawn, she lingered and took in the art and the music, perhaps thinking the latter was an artistic parallel of the former.

Generation Houseguest-the same generation as Generation X. This term draws attention to a peculiar phenomenon amongst the members of Generation X, their propensity to be unemployed, take extended vacations, and sleep on the couches of their friends or in the beds of their lovers. Some of the traditional institutions that members of Generation Houseguest disregard: career, marriage, religion and politics.

Generation X-people born between 1965 and 1985, or between 1960 and 1980, depending on who defines the term. The generation prior to Generation X is the Baby Boom Generation (people born in the twenty years that follow World War II).

As children, people in Generation X found themselves attending schools designed for the greater number of children characterizing the previous generation; thus they tended to receive more attention and feel less crowded at school. The situation at home was the opposite. This is because for the first time in American history, both parents had to work to support a family, resulting in less parental attention and restriction. What's more, parents had a strong propensity to divorce, making the world even more bleak for their children.

Suffering from greater alienation and living for the first time in generally worse economic conditions than the preceding generation, members of Generation X turned to drugs, crime and other hedonistic activities in record numbers.

Big Fun is typical of Generation X left to its own devices. Farrell is a devoted student and member of Generation X; he views Big Fun as a great Generation X experiment and this is perhaps the chief reason for his fascination with the place and its people. Generation X was the name of a punk rock band before it came to be the name of the generation of the youth of today.

genital warts-this is a sensitive subject. "Genital warts" is a kind of venereal disease. It is caused by the Human Papilloma virus and spreads through microscopic tissue injuries that occur during sexual intercourse. 25-33% of all college age people in America are believed to be infected; thus this is the most common sexually transmitted disease in America. Warts resemble miniature cauliflowers and can be as large as a dime or microscopic and can be white, brown or pink. On men they occur on the penis and on women they mostly appear on the cervix within the vagina. Babies can contract vaginal warts from their mothers and in such cases they attack the larynx. Rarely, adults can get genital warts on their tongue or larynx as well. Genital warts are highly contagious; 80% of the partners of those with genital warts are also infected.

There is no known cure for genital warts, but individual warts can be destroyed by a variety of techniques including burning with trichlotacetic acid, freezing with liquid nitrogen or zapping with laser beams (the technique used by Buck Rogers and most of the crew of the Starship Enterprise).

This information is from "The Genital Warts Information Page" which can be found at www.pregnant.com/kgc/stds/wart2.htm.

As it happens, most sexually active people in Charlottesville are infected with genital warts. This is because, despite all the publicity about AIDS, no one ever really wears condoms. The few, the proud, who are not infected with genital warts do their best to ensure that they remain uninfected while those who are infected know little can be done about the situation. The infected ones eventually develop a Kevin Pervis attitude about their warts. They come to see their warts as a positive attribute and actively attempt to recruit others into the world of the infected.

The short list of people who claim not to be infected with genital warts includes such names as Matthew Hart, Jessika, the Gus and Deya.

get on-to hug someone. This term entered the Big Fun lexicon from Dave Simpson, the owner of the C&O. Dave says other things that Jessika finds amusing such as "okay then" and "come on now."

Jessika has started using "get on" to mean "take the initiative to perform an act of sexual intercourse." Bad Tractor has been known to use the term "get up on" to mean "perform sexual intercourse" as in "I'm not trying to get up on you," which is something he once told a girl in front of the Gus.

Gigi Allin-a state of unconcern about the effects of ones violence, coupled with a desire to strike people using whatever weapons are handy. This term has been used to describe Jessika's behaviour when she is extremely intoxicated. The objects she has used to strike people have included her fists, her forehead, her teeth, her lips, her tongue, a bullwhip, and a bottle (broken over the head of the Gus).

gin-a distilled spirit that is contaminated with juniper-berry extracts. Something in those juniper berries makes a drunk act in hostile sexually-depraved ways as it unchains the evil of the Saturn sign. Gin is not particularly welcome at Big Fun, where it can be blamed for the majority of the outrages perpetrated by Zachary and the Gus.

glossary, the-what you are now reading, as translated and transcribed by the Gus from golden tablets discovered in the well behind Big Fun. The golden tablets, which were pawned at Snooky's for the funds necessary to purchase four litres of a light chianti, had been guarded by a great serpent, which took flight upon seeing the mighty Ray Snabley.

Opinions on the glossary are varied. Sara Poiron, who resents her definition, has said "I hate the glossary." When Jessika let everyone at the C & O read an earlier version of the glossary, they all said the same thing, "That guy sure has a lot of time on his hands." Jessika's mother found the glossary useful because it built a linguistic bridge across an otherwise uncrossable generation gap. She also seems to be pleased with her daughter's definition. Shira is a bit uncomfortable with the way she has been defined in terms of her reproductive ambitions. Most of the Aquarians: Morgan, Matthew Hart, Farrell and Deya, seem to be content with their definitions. Word from Philadelphia is that Johnny Boom Boom loves the glossary, and that he and many others there want copies of it. Jamie Dyer may not be entirely enthusiastic about his definition, but he has put the glossary on the World Wide Web (http://www.comet.net/personal/bigfun). Ray Snabley wishes his last name was spelled correctly and that the glossary included more of the sycophantic things Sara Poiron has said about him (for example such nauseating crap as "Ray is better than God. Without Ray life has no meaning. Life does not exist without Ray.") I think Ray's self esteem is doing just fine without including such nonsense.

One of Sara's criticisms of the glossary is that it is yet another example of Jessika worship, which she has apparently become sick of. But a statistical breakdown of the use of names in the glossary consistently showed many more references to Sara than to Jessika until Sara moved back to Philadelphia and no longer figured as a player in events of the Big Fun scene.

Here are the number of occurrences of direct references to various people in the glossary, in descending order (note, some of these numbers have changed a little since this particular count):

The term "Big Fun" is used 452 times. The glossary contains 666 definitions.

God-an old white guy with a big bushy white beard Who sits on a cloud and decides what natural disasters the people on earth are going to have to contend with on any particular day. Whenever He wants another beer, He simply creates one. If He's sick of beer He can instead create Himself a bottle of Mad Dog in any flavour He wants, even in a flavour that has not yet been invented. God's stereo system is always tuned to the local easy listening station, and He never has sex with any of the beautiful angels who crowd around his throne and think He's so cool. Amongst the youth of today, God is regarded as an anachronistic irrelevance.

god box-this is Shira's name for the vent that connects the ceiling of her room to the floor of Sara Poiron's room directly above. Communications through this vent (as is also the case for communications between Jessika's room and the kitchen; see "vent, the") have the disembodied character of communications with deities.

good bone structure-what Sara Poiron seems to most appreciate in someones appearance. It is unlikely that she would ever have a torrid affair with anyone who lacked good bone structure.

goodbye malignant tumour-on the day of Big Fun's first ever tour of Harrisonburg, the long ride was the backdrop for some creative humour spawned by Shira and contributed to by the Gus. Perhaps it was our passing Ruby Tuesday's Restaurant on 29 North that made her start singing and modifying the words to the Rolling Stones song "Goodbye Ruby Tuesday." One version went "Goodbye genitalia/who could hang a name on you?/though I got a sex change operation/still I'm gonna miss you." Another went "Goodbye stinky brown stuff up my butt/who could hang a name on you?/though I finally got some toilet paper/still I'm gonna miss you." One of the more memorable versions went "Goodbye malignant tumour/who could hang a name on you?/though I got a biopsy operation/still I'm gonna miss you."

good ole boys-this is Michæl Nace's term for the "others" we find in places like Scottsville. They stand there with their mouths open looking at Morgan's spiked hair and whatever is odd that day in the appearance of Jessika. The term "good ole boy" is often used to connote people who are part of the establishment in inbred little towns. Such people have no desire to see the establishment changed. They don't want niggers moving in next door. They don't like punk rock faggots eating at their favourite restaurant. And should a Green Day video appear on MTV while their teenage daughter is watching, they will ground her for a week if she doesn't instantly change channels.

Charlottesville goths: Cecilia the Brazilian Girl (left) and Theresa Venesian (right). Photo by the Gus, Sept. 1996

goth-someone who wears almost nothing but black, perhaps with a little white or even red. Goth girls have a penchant for nets and lace and complex sinister jewelry; with their long black hair, black dresses and pasty complexions, they look positively Victorian. Boys have long hair and often wear black leather jackets and can at times be mistaken for heshers. Goths dye their hair black and wear black eyeliner and even black lipstick. They usually apply white makeup to the rest of their faces. The music they listen to also carries the name "goth" and seems to have descended from Joy Division, but typically the vocalist uses an especially cheesy 50's Count Dracula enunciation pattern. Other forms of music popular with goths include Death Metal, Industrial, Nine Inch Nails, and even classical requiems. Someone, Shira maybe, once said that Matthew Hart is the most gothic person at Big Fun. True, he has artificial black hair and he likes Joy Division and crucifixes, but he wears very un-gothic clothes. In most scenes, clothes wouldn't be the deciding factor, but in the goth world, clothes are everything.

Cecilia and Nada are quick to point out that real goths do not listen to death metal music; only poser goths do. This may or may not be true, but the Gus has met very few goths who do not like some death metal along with their usual true gothic diet.

goth hand-this is Shira's term for the right hand, which is waved about gracefully at eye level during the enjoyment of goth music.

goy-a male non-Jew, for example Matthew Hart. The plural of goy is goyim.

Grand Air Trine-during December, 1995, and persisting spasmodically past that, the exclusive three-person clique consisting of Sara Poiron, Jessika, and the Gus (in astrological order). This term is, of course, an astrological one; it applies to the three air signs Gemini, Libra and Aquarius (in the same order) in which the sun appeared during the birth of each member.

The Grand Air Trine found itself to be a very compatible group, though it suffered a number of flaws. Though air signs are intellectual and witty, they lack emotion and empathy. Thus The Grand Air Trine tended to be cold and cruel to others, especially others in the Big Fun community. Despite there being an abundance of other air signs around, the Grand Air Trine depended on its original members for its integrity; this fact could well be the result of the exceedingly good 120 degree angles between the sun positions in the charts of Sara Poiron, Jessika, and the Gus.

There were a number of factors that lead to degradation in the unity of this trine; one of these was a lack of empathy; but the principle factor was the vice of lust, a very non-air FEELING, surely one the Grand Air Trine members, despite the reality of their actions, would deny. It is interesting that the members of the Grand Air Trine, with the partial exception of Jessika, increased their ties to members of their own respective signs as their ties to the Grand Air Trine weakened.

grand square-four heavenly bodies (the rising horizon is included here under the term "heavenly bodies") that lie close to 90 degrees apart from each other consecutively around an astrological chart, making the shape of a square if lines are drawn between them. At Big Fun, the term "grand square" is also used to indicate a complete set of signs of an attribute (cardinal, fixed, mutable), such as a grand cardinal square, which is made up of Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. A grand square can be found in a person's chart, or it can be found in the charts of four people who have a certain heavenly body (particularly the sun) in each of the signs of a particular attribute. A grand square consisting of four people is not a recipe for social tranquillity; signs from different elements are often incompatible, and even more so if they all share an attribute, especially if that attribute is cardinal.

One association that closely approximated a Grand Cardinal Square was the Malvern association of Johnny Boom Boom Mancini, Jessika, Turtle and Peggy Farley. Such a square would be endowed with much initiative, but it would also be plagued by a clash of egos. The only problem astrologically speaking was that Johnny Boom Boom is in fact a Leo and not a Cancer. Is it possible that all the talk around Big Fun about Johnny Boom Boom really being a Cancer is simply a vestige of a desire from those days that an astrological purpose be found for that association?

grand trine-three heavenly bodies (the rising horizon is included here under the term "heavenly bodies") that lie close to 120 degrees apart from each other consecutively around an astrological chart, making the shape of an equilateral triangle if lines are drawn between them. At Big Fun, the term "grand trine" is also used to indicate a complete set of signs of an element, such as a grand water trine, which is made up of Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. A grand trine can be found in a person's chart, or it can be found in the charts of three people who have a certain heavenly body (particularly the sun) in each of the signs of a particular element. A grand trine consisting of three people can develop into a very exclusive clique, since they are endowed with a natural harmony. Caution is in order here, though; mutable signs frequently clash with fixed signs after they come to understand one another. Examples of grand trines in peoples' charts: The Pegger, Sara Poiron, Shira, Jessika and Deya have grand fire trines, Sara Poiron and Matthew Hart have grand air trines, the Gus has a grand earth trine, and Jατασyα has a grand water trine. Aside from "the Grand Air Trine" the only easily-constituted multi-person grand trine at Big Fun would be a grand earth ascendant trine made up of the Gus or Jessika (Taurus rising), Peggy (Virgo rising) and Deya (Capricorn rising).

grunge-this alternative youth movement from the early 1990s is usually spoken of as dead here in the late 1990s. This is because people will always think you are cool if you are the first to announce that something has died, while it always uncool to speak of something being alive after someone has announced its death.

Grunge is said to have originated as marriage between Seattle's hesher and punk scenes around such bands as Soundgarden, Gruntruck, Tad, Nirvana, Sunny Day Real Estate, Alice in Chains, and even Stone Temple Pilots and, dare I say it, Pearl Jam. Characteristic of most of these bands is punk rock drums and vocals, hesher hair and guitar, and working-class clothing that is rarely washed. Lyrics frequently confront such uncomfortable subjects as unpopularity, alienation from divorced parents, disease, the hypocrisy and allure of religion, heroin, and raw lust.

Grunge may or may not be a useful term to describe a segment of youth delinquency, but with historical perspective, it is best used to describe a record company phenomenon. By the early 1990s, pop music had become so stale that a great fraction of the youth had turned to "alternative" music sources such as college radio and small-record-label recordings while many rock stations were sticking with old music and assuring their aging audiences that all they played was "classic rock." In this context, Nirvana released Nevermind, which contained a number of vaguely radio-friendly songs. When these were grudgingly played on a few pop stations and MTV's "alternative shows," they were so well received that record companies saw opportunity; they then set about to literally strip mine the Seattle rock scene as well as a series of other urban music scenes (particularly Minneapolis, Chicago and New York), devastating them with money and fame. In the wake of this, rock and roll has forever been changed. Grunge was a revolution, the revolution where punk rock was decisively injected into mainstream rock and roll. That revolution is now over. Turn on the radio and you can hear the results. Even Bob Seeger plays a form of grunge these days.

Gusburger-a cheeseburger that also contains an egg. This is a specialty of the White Spot diner on the Corner. The Gus has such a pathological aversion to eggs that it almost seems as though the name of this sandwich has an ironic intent, even if, as is the likelihood, there were Gusburgers a long time before there was a Gus.

Gus Mueller's Life Off-a modification of the title of the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which seemed to represent but one day in the life of the Gus. Used to describe the slackerly life style of the Gus, who doesn't seem to work yet still manages to maintain a station in life somewhat above that of a complete bum.

Gus, the-a 57 year-old hippie who wears coffee-stained tie-dyes, listens to the Grateful Dead, smokes the kind, and hangs out with children, occasionally buying them alcohol and molesting them, but, like Santa Clause, they love him anyway because he's so damn cute. The e-mail address of the Gus is gus@spies.com.

the Gus, from two photos taken by Jonathan Hayward, 5-96 (left) and 7-96

Gus' Taverna-a bar/restaurant in downtown Harrisonburg, VA where one can get pitchers of Red Dog for $2.85 (they used to cost two fitty). Live bands play upstairs sometimes. It is by far the coolest place to hang out in Harrisonburg. Gus' Taverna bears no connection to the Gus except he has ordered pizza and beer there on several occasions, and has spoken approving of the place at Big Fun.

Big Fun's tour of Harrisonburg on 4-12-96 included a happy-hour dinner at Gus' Taverna. Shira and Peggy found the Mediterranean Pizza much to their liking, though Matthew Hart, a pizza professional, found the absence of pesto on that pizza a serious omission. Everyone had to agree that the $3 pitchers of Leinenkügel constituted the single biggest reason Gus' Taverna should open a franchise in Charlottesville.

During the early afternoons, it is possible to sit upstairs at Gus' and eat unsupervised, allowing ones ID-less underage friends (Shira for example) to drink from ones pitcher in peace.

guy talk-this is an activity that guys engage in. When not in the company of girls, they will talk in the most direct way about their sexual experiences, typically employing ample quantities of prosaic exaggeration. Then they will go on to express all manner of unrealistic hopes concerning future sexual conquests they intend to make. Never do guys speak of "love" or "feelings" at such time. Sex is something that gives them social credibility, and emotions take away from that credibility.

Gwakanessin-that which can make one puke when one drinks the Tussin, or so the underground literature on Tussin (for example Flipside 99, Dec'95/Jan'96, 75% of the way into the magazine) indicates. Actually, this is just one of many Big Fun pronunciations of the trade name "Guaifenesin," an expectorant added to most Tussin DM preparations.

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