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1. I used to like Pearl Jam until my friends said they're not cool. Now I think they suck.
2. I decided I was a real punk rocker the first time I saw that video on MTV of Green Day performing at Woodstock II.
3. I decided I was a real punk rocker the first time I went to a Hootie concert.
4. I was in a hardware store the other day and I saw some bathtub chains and that made me think of how cool bathtub chains are. So I saved up my allowance for three weeks and went to Zipperhead and got some bathtub chains. Look...aren't they cool?
5. I'm going to get a mohawk the first day I get to College. That'll give it a chance to grow out before I have to see my mom again.
6. I never moshed until I went to my first Dave Matthews concert. Now I go to every punk rock concert I can and am the first to start moshing. But nobody moshes like I heard they used to do back in the day.
7. I'm looking for a punk rock girl who doesn't mind me having a "normal" girlfriend...you know, the kind mom won't freak out about.
8. I'm not going to be able to make it to the Needlework show, I have to go to my graduation.
9. I'm not going to be able to make it to the Needlework show, I have to go to work.
10. I like the idea of nipple rings because my Dad won't be able to see them. He says he's not paying for college if I get body piercings or tattoos.
11. Did that [name of piercing] hurt?
12. But have you heard Alanis live?
13. Let's go to your place...my place is a mess [read "I haven't taken down my Hootie posters yet"].
14. Let's go to my place...I just got done making it cool [read "the Hootie Poster is behind the dresser"].
15. YOU STOLE THAT FROM A STORE?
16. HAVE A DOCTOR DO IT...YOU MIGHT GET AN INFECTION!
17. I'll be getting a big rat across my chest with the words "punk rock forever" as soon as I get this month's interest off my trust fund.
MORE TO COME!!