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How Babies Are Made

A boy smiles at a girl across a room and she smiles back. Soon enough, she comes over and says, "Hey, what's up?" He says, "Nothing much...hey, you wanna go for a drive?" She says, "sure." So they get in his car and drive. His hand inevitably finds its way up her skirt. But nothing much is going on there, what with all those nice clean sugar & spice girlie clothes and such.

So he pulls up her shirt and makes a bee-line for the navel. The navel is an indispensable piece of sexual machinery, and must be slowly carressed until it turns yellowish in colour. Then the boy pulls over to the edge of the road and leans over and kisses the girl's navel. As he does so, some saliva is deposited into the navel to form a pool. Within this salvia are millions of little babies. They are fully clothed and are wearing special little diapers made out of keratin secreted by glands at the base of the spine (these glands vanish after a few weeks when the diapers are no longer necessary).

One among these babies is the strongest and will devour all the other babies one by one, increasing in size with each meal. Once he has eaten all his competitors, he will be roughly the size of a pea and will be quite visible to the naked eye. He imbeds himself inextricable in the side of the navel and persists there until he can chew for himself a thin tunnel into the girl's abdomen. This chewing does not hurt since a pain killer is released by the baby's salivary ducts.

Once he has found his way within the girl's abdomen he begins to grow slowly until he reaches roughly the size of a house cat. Then he again chews his way to the surface. This time there is no pain killers in his saliva. Due to the blood and pain, it is customary for the girl to be hospitalized in preparation for the emergence of the baby.

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