fabric representation of a juvenile hopping marsupial
Monday, August 4 2003
I will never list all the things that Gretchen does on a regular basis "for the animals, that is, domestic pets in need of loving homes. This isn't because such a list would be uninteresting; far from it. But this is a nation of laws, not anecdotes.
The most recent beneficial act "for the animals" involved a complex Gretchen-engineered transfer of unsold goods from a tag sale fundraiser for Diana's Cat Shelter in Stone Ridge to the Catskill Animal Sanctuary, residence of Mr. Peepers, Phil the Cat, and Rambo the Sheep, among others. Today the transfer was only half-complete, with both our vehicles overstuffed with unsold tag sale items. There's very little in this world quite as worthless as unsold tag sale merchandise. Not only do such things occupy an inordinately large amount of cubic feet per dollar value, but they also tend to be imbued with the musty fragrance of leaky basements, disorganized garages, and underventillated attics.
Today, though, I was able to find a couple of things of value amid the cardboard file boxes in the back of my truck. (Each of these had a fake wood grain pattern printed on the outside.) These things were stuffed animals, beloved as chew toys for dogs young and old. Since Eleanor moved in, the one remaining stuffed toy (a plush jack with pneumatic squeakers in each of its tendrils) has been torn to shreds, and the need for a replacement become urgent. So I found a couple toys for the dogs. As any good parent would do, I had to give them both toys so that neither would feel neglected. One of these was a female kangaroo outfitted with a gardening hat and a pouch-ridden joey (I say pouch-ridden because, when removed from the pouch, the fabric representation of a juvenile hopping marsupial had neither arms nor legs).
The other toy took a longer vetting process, as Gretchen nixed the higher-quality teddy bear and a Clydesdale horsey I initially chose. Finally we picked an ugly white synthetic teddy bear. It looked like a giant puffball whenever the dogs abandoned it in the yard, which, incidentally, is now several weeks unmowed.
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