Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   mysterious car business model
Wednesday, September 3 2008
Lately I've been driving the crappy Honda Civic hatchback that caused us so much grief earlier this summer. Yesterday I drove it to Woodstock and today I drove with the dogs all the way to Tivoli and back. The suspension is dreadful (and, yes, people have told me how easy that is to replace) and the brakes are still making funny noises, sometimes even when I'm not using them. It's amazing all the tiny things that are wrong with that car, things I've discovered in the months since Gretchen and I bought it. A couple weeks ago when I removed one of the front hub caps, I saw the wheel was only being held on by three lugnuts. The bolt on the fourth was broken off about a half inch from the end. What kind of idiot breaks off his lugnut bolts? Still, I had sixteen spare lug nuts and was able to thread one onto the end of the partially-amputated bolt. There are also numerous small screws missing throughout the car, contributing to the rattles and clunks as I drive it. The panel of plastic just beneath the steering column has about an inch of play and bangs against my knees as I drive. Who took out all those screws? Is there someone out there with a business model in which he buys cars, strips out nonessential screws, resells them on the parts market, and then resells the car?
What with all its rattles and idiosyncrasies, the hatchback will be a great car for hauling rocks and firewood of the largest, most interior-scuffing variety. And someday, hopefully soon, the engine will seize up and we can get something better.


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