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The New Astrology
by the Gus
She pointed out the advantages of the New Astrology: now I no longer had the curse of my Mars being in Pisces (which supposedly will vanquish all my efforts).

T

uesday came, and now it was getting ridiculous that I was still living with the Malvern Girls. I had to go home. In the morning, though, Sara was carrying on in her usual absurdist fashion on the subject of what she called "The New Astrology." It seems she had stayed up for a large fraction of the evening playing with the Astrolog program and had discovered a "House Setting" which caused all the signs in someone's chart to change dramatically....so dramatically that Sara became an Aquarius and I became a Libra. This was ridiculous, of course, but Sara was going on and on in her typical sardonic fashion that this reflected a new understanding among astrologers of the principles of Einsteinian Physics or the subtle movement of the constellations. She pointed out the advantages of the New Astrology: now I no longer had the curse of my Mars being in Pisces (which supposedly will vanquish all my efforts). And no longer did she have Pisces rising (which supposedly makes her projected nature smarmy and emotional). And it seemed she'd prefer being an Aquarius to a Gemini anyway. Jessika has told me that Sara has "Aquarius envy" and had been very proud of Aquarius being her rising sign until Astrolog, with its more precise calculations, determined she had Pisces rising. I was joking that I felt like a completely different person once I'd learned I was really a Libra in accordance with "The New Astrology." Like all of Sara's intense foci, for example the plan to commit suicide in front of Tiger Fuel, she soon lost interest in it all and became focused in a similar way on something else. In this case it was the obtaining of food stamps.


Links to pages about novel astrologies:

December 3, 2000: I've been repeatedly harassed about the title of this page by a certain Suzanne White, author of the book entitled The New Astrology, copyright 1988. Evidently unaware that one cannot copyright the title of a book or exert control over the title tags of web pages, her lawyer has encouraged this behavior. If you would like to support me in thwarting her evil plans, please take some time from your day to create a mirror of this page and submit it to all your favorite search engines.

Here are some other pages about "The New Astrology":

A wacky course in the UK

A book not written by Suzanne White