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unexpected new hairs
Monday, January 29 2001
I left work at 4pm today thinking I'd ride my snazzy new bike to West Hollywood and pick up the credit card and driver's license I'd left behind at the Troubadour on Saturday night. But it was so cold outside and no one at the Troubadour was answering the phone, so I said fuck it and took casual advantage of my early evening to do what I'd have to do on the sly if I'd stayed at work. No, not masturbation, you sick fuck.
One thing I've noticed as youth disappears in my rearview mirror is that I've started growing hairs in all sorts of unexpected new places. My chest is no longer a sparse plain populated by the odd sapling. It's almost, well, hairy. Not like Italian hairy, but there are hairs there in a way that I never anticipated when I was in my early 20s. Then there's the inside of my nose. It really bothers me when I can reach two fingers into a nostril and there's a nasal hair in there long enough for me to tug on. My solution, entirely my own invention, has been to twirl a safety razor head around in my nostrils. It works well, and I've never nicked myself (though I used to be really nervous that I would).
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