not giving Bush the courage
Thursday, July 24 2003
I took Eleanor to the local Hurley vet today because I had a coupon from the Dutchess County SPCA allowing her to get a free examination. I've never been a big fan of this particular animal hospital, mostly because it seems impossible to take an animal there without spending at least a hundred dollars, usually for something as superfluous as a yearly checkup. (I don't go in for a yearly checkup, why should Edna?) My nascent dislike for the Hurley vet reached a critical threshold when I was required to pay $40 for Eleanor's examination. It seems the Hurley animal hospital isn't participating in the Dutchess County SPCA's free examination program. Their decision not to simply honor my coupon (which they could easily have done) reflected bad business logic. Gretchen and I have not one but five animals, four of them regulars at the Hurley Animal Hospital. This represents a cash cow worth thousands of dollars. But when I got home, the bad feeling they'd given me caused me to lobby hard for us to find another vet.
Tonight I had a plan to use Photoshop to doctor up a picture of President George W. Bush, showing what he might look like if he were to go down in hail of smart bombs bravely defending this country against an occupying army devoted to furthering atheism, gay marriage, corporate non-personhood, the Kyoto global warming protocols, and other evils. I even downloaded an enormous JPEG of our smirking president. It had such fine detail that you could examine the contents of his pores and the state of his dental hygeine. But as I was preparing to sample darker colors from the picture and then use the spray paint tool to fabricate bruises, injuries, and swellings, I got to thinking: do I really want a visit by the Secret Service? Could a doctored image giving George W. Bush the courage he shirked in Vietnam and on 9-11-01, the sort demonstrated by the ruthless Qusay and Uday Hussein, be construed as a threat against the life of our commander-in-chief? In this particular political climate, when suspected terrorists are routinely tortured while in federal custody, I decided not to take the risk.
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