![]() I found myself being entertained by the crazy views expressed in letters to the editors of the local papers. So I tried my hand at far-right-wing letters to the editor and..BINGO...most of these letters were actually published. In some cases I then received supportive phone calls from rednecks vehemently agreeing with me.
My second letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, April 20, 1994. Advocating cameras in every household to keep people from comitting sin. My first letter to the Waynesboro News Virginian, March 22, 1994 . We must criminalize not just abortion, but contraception as well. My first letter to the Harrisonburg Daily News Record, March 23, 1994 . Ollie North is strongly supported simply because he is a veteran. My second letter to the Harrisonburg Daily News Record, April 11, 1994 . People won't take the time to squash that bug, impregnate that wife, spank that child. I don't think this letter was published in Harrisonburg, but it was eventually published somewhere. My second letter to the Waynesboro News Virginian, April 22, 1994 . The Endangered Species Act has got to go. My third letter to the Harrisonburg Daily News Record, April 25, 1994. Criminals are too protected by our open legal system. They should be secretly arrested, tortured, imprisoned and executed so that the public will not raise an outcry. This letter was never published. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, June 03, 1994. From one of my aliases, Anne Buchnelle, with an address in Oberlin (that of my then-girlfriend, Leslie Montalto). That a hippy is seen on the streets of Staunton is mentioned as the only blemish to a perfect vacation in the Queen City of the Shenandoah. This letter was never published. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, August 09, 1994. Bradford Pears receive high praise because they are clean, grow straight, and are from the place where white people come from. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, September 11, 1994. Liberalism is equated with vandalism. A letter to the Oberlin Review (in Oberlin, Ohio), September 11, 1994. A pair of lesbians are witnessed holding hands in Oberlin and a reaction of abject horror is expressed. This letter actually was published! A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, November 19, 1994. Evolution is criticized, as is the theory that the Earth is round. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, December 19, 1994. Fears that a daughter will have no interest in reproducing if she is taught how to masturbate. A letter to the Harrisonburg Daily News Record (and later the Staunton Daily News Leader), January 17, 1995. The repressive President of James Madison University, Ronald Carrier, who recently liquidated JMU's Physics department, is supported vehemently. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, January 26, 1995. The elitist arts community must have its accidental federal support eliminated as well; they cannot, for example, be allowed to transport their blasphemies on the nations' highways. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, March 18, 1995. Rush Limbaugh is criticized for not being right wing enough. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, May 01, 1995. Good points are found in the repressive old Soviet regime; at least the commies knew what to do with their environmentalist extremists. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, May 08, 1995. The boring vistas of Staunton, Virginia are improved by the earth moving required to build a local WalMart. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, August 11, 1995. A committee is established to snitch on neighbors who do not mow their lawns frequently enough. After this was published, someone actually called me expressing interest in joining my committee, while another person called me up angry about the snide remarks I'd made about Craigsville. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, September 11, 1995. The biblical things our children should be taught in the public schools. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, October 31, 1995. Democratic and Republican candidates in rural Virginia are said to be equally wonderful for their indistinguishable views. The satanic one is said to be the female candidate in the Green Party. A letter to the Staunton Daily News Leader, January 2, 2000. I stick up for Lowes and Walmart as they face opposition to their encroachment on Betsy Bell and Mary Gray.
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