The day was another cold one, as always. But there was a period of sun, and this served only to illuminate my room with an eerie glow as I tried to sleep through the afternoon.

Masturbation has become a chore, a duty I must perform, uninspired, like watering plants. It seems that relationships of every kind get old after a time. In this case, the need is demanded at inappropriate times, when it would be so much better just to say that I'm tired. But the forces at work here are too irrational to negotiate with. They are not surprisingly uncaring that my thoughts concern other things.

For all that it lacks, this is the season that brings out the beauty in red headed girls.

At Plan 9, I got another music fix. CDs last a good deal longer than alcohol. Once you drink a beer, it vanishes. Once you hear a CD, you can always hear it again. And the emotional impact of music is at least as good, if not better, than that of alcohol. And your friends, you always have to think about the quantity and quality of friends when you have alcohol. Music, on the other hand, gives your friends a chance to show how much they really want to spend time with you.

The music I bought wasn't really so great, though, mostly because it was peppy girlie punk pop, but at least it was cheap. $4 for a used Throwing Muses CD, House Tornado, recorded in 1988. I'd heard Throwing Muses over a year ago at Trax back when the place was Crossroads Live (owned at the time by a David Fisher, who was one of my friends back when we attended the same rural public school south of Staunton), and really enjoyed them. But in 1988, they sounded like somewhere in between Siouxsie and the Banshees and Concrete Blond, with a dancier style than present today. But it was the 80s, and giving slack is what I should be doing. The other CD was the latest from The Fastbacks, New Mansions In Sound, $6, used...more happy punk pop. I have a feeling Jessika would like it, though, and it would also make for good driving music.

I slept from 6pm until work. I'm embarrassed to admit that I was put into a much better mood by an e-mail from Jessika, even though she was mostly critical of me.

Best discovery of the day: scratched CDs can be resurrected by buffing their play surfaces with a polyester sweater. Yes, the 70s do still have things to offer the 90s.