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Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").
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Charlottesville picobrewery Sunday, December 22 1996 Soon after getting up, I started warming the Dart. An obnoxiously loud black guy and two even more obnoxious, even louder white female companions were walking west on Wertland. I was embarrassed as the two girls kept trying to "out black" one another by making gratuitous and ever louder uses of such phrases as "You go, girlfriend" with their nasal white girl accents. With a vodka and horrible-simulated-juice cocktail loaded in my handy ketchup bottle (much of my orange juice having been pilfered by housemate John and some random girl), I drove the Dart to the residence of Nathan VanHooser. The mission: to brew a batch of beer, something Nathan has made stabs at doing, but never unassisted at his house. I'm using the word "unassisted" to describe his effort today, even though I was there and did a few little things to help. But this time no one in the know was holding his hand. The brewing of beer is a remarkably simple process. It involves lots of water mixed with malt and sugar, boiled with a big tea bag of hops, cooled quickly to 30 degrees Celsius, an addition of yeast, and then the fermentation begins. The only thing that must be feared is contamination with other biologic agents. I'd bought some Oregon Micro-brew (sorry, I don't recall the name of the stuff) to get us in the mood.
You have a chair go sit in it sir You have a stair go climb it Sarah
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I ended up driving us to the Food Lion on Pantops to get some real corn chips. Food Lion brand "salted corn chips" are the economical and not-overly-salted salsa vehicles of choice.
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