my hobbies include recycling

That isn't true; I was in a daze just now and thought I saw that on someone's web page. It made me think to myself "that person is flawed."

---

...I'm probably being awaken from deserved sleep.

T


here are people who call me in the middle of the night at Comet and apologize for asking for technical assistance. As much as I hate being disturbed, me answering their calls is part of my job description. They appear to be working with the strange assumption that it's impolite to call anywhere at four in the morning, and that I'm probably being awaken from deserved sleep.

---

He went on to announce to Deya and me "I'm officially kicking my drinking up a notch."

I


  wonder what will happen when the sheer breadth of Mother Teresa's extensive dildo collection is finally made public. Will she still be regarded as a saint worthy of reflex-canonization? Matthew Hart and I discussed the matter briefly this morning after I came home from work.

He went on to announce to Deya and me "I'm officially kicking my drinking up a notch." He then convinced me to go with him to the JPA Fastmart to pick up various alcoholic beverages. The rationale, of course, was that we had to celebrate the birth of Peggy and Zach's as yet unnamed baby boy.

We got a bottle of cheap Andre champagne and twelve beers at the Fastmart, and then sat around in Kappa Mutha Fucka passing the bubbly back and forth. Johnny Cash's Live from San Quentin/Fulsom Prison was blaring from the boom box.

Matthew told me (for the zillionth time, but it's better every time) the tale of the evening, back in the Fall of 1995, when he got in a horrible fight with Leah at the infamous Wertland Party.

It seems that, in a rage, he raced back to Waynesboro from the party, grabbed his father's gun, and waited for the arrival of his mother and Leah (Matthew's mother and father were not yet divorced in those days). When they arrived, he forced them to drink expensive beers at gunpoint. Among the things that happened later that night was Matthew swinging a baseball bat at a police officer. Suffice it to say, he ended up in Charter after such a rich display of craziness.
Like Rory and Sara Poiron, Matthew writes well when he puts forth the effort. I encouraged him to some day take the time to tell the tale in text.

Interestingly, there's a clause in their lease that states that they cannot have any of the apples.

I


  awoke in the afternoon with a hangover and proceded into a can of Beast Ice. As I sat drinking this on the front porch, Matthew Hart came rolling up with Jessika in his car. I hadn't seen her since July. She's in town in connection with the Peggy and Zach stuff.

They both had Budweisers in hand. Their plan was to go visit Peggy and Zach up on Carter's Mountain. It seems Peggy was already home from the birthing center.

We got some champagne and Natural Ice at Farmer Jack and then proceded up the mountain.

P


eggy and Zach's place is surrounded by apple orchards, and since it's now apple season, apples are everywhere. Interestingly, there's a clause in their lease that states that they cannot have any of the apples. That's like saying they can't drink the rain. I wonder if there are any people out there who, renting Peggy and Zach's house, would abstain from eating any of those apples. I doubt I'd get along very well with such a person.

Both Jessika and I have Taurus Rising, but everyone else we know seems to enjoy breaking stuff for the sheer hell of it.

Peggy's parents were outside when we arrived, while P&Z napped inside. Peggy's mother held the new baby while he slept. He was pink and seemingly flawless, with long fingers and toes. There was no indication that he'd some day be riding the short bus. Indeed, his bus may well end up being the extra special long kind that they make for especially intelligent kids.

The baby is astrologically interesting, at least for Jessika. She's particularly fascinated by his Venus/Mars conjunction in Scorpio, the "darkest, most mysterious sign in the zodiac." For my part, I dig the fact that he's got Taurus Rising, which implies thrift and non-wasteful behaviour. Both Jessika and I have Taurus Rising, but everyone else we know seems to enjoy breaking stuff for the sheer hell of it.

Peggy and Zach woke up, rubbed their eyes, and came out to join us and partake of the drinks. One positive outcome of Peggy's pregnancy was that it provided an opportunity for her to quit smoking.

I used a piece of grass to simulate a fallen ant, teasing the ant lions and making them throw dirt into the air.

There we were, in the country, and I found myself easily regressing back to country boy routines developed in my childhood. I held a blade of grass in my hands and blew through it to make a sound, something the others (excepting Peggy's parents) had never done.

Then I showed them the little cone-shaped depressions constructed in the dirt by ant lions as traps for small insects. None of my friends had ever seen or interacted with an ant lion before. They'd always assumed the depressions were built by ants, not ant predators. I used a piece of grass to simulate a fallen ant, teasing the ant lions and making them throw dirt into the air, an impressive little microcosmic spectacle. "How do you know this stuff?" Jessika asked. "I don't know, I just do."

my spin on this

So much of nature is simply walked over, paved over, mowed over and ignored. Knowledge of the natural world is considered useless baggage by many. There's a day of reckoning coming for such people, and on the Internet, it's an easy thing to ignore.

Matthew, Jessika and I explored a couple abandoned houses nearby in the surrounding orchards. One seemed especially well built and even inhabitable, if only some window panes could be found. There was no evidence of water damage, so the roof must be good still. Jessika liked the colour of the inside paint, a sunworn blue.

I respect my car's suspension too much to use it as an outlet for pent-up aggressions.

Another house was full of old appliances and mattresses. Matthew Hart and I threw apples at its roof trying to hit the chimney. His aim was considerably better than mine.

After socializing and drinking more with the new parents and grandparents, Matthew grew impatient and expressed an intent to leave. I was with him when he drove off but Jessika and (far more distressing to him) the 12 pack of Natural Ice, were not. So we doubled back and added both to our payload. Jessika tends to drag her ass whenever people are waiting for her to get in the car, but our brief absence gave her enough time to get her ass in gear.

Matthew drove a little like a maniac both up and down Carter's Mountain. I respect my car's suspension too much to use it as an outlet for pent-up aggressions. But I suppose I'm not the one to talk; I'm the one who needs new bearings for my Dart.

I had the day's second hangover when I awoke from my prework nap.

W


e bought some of those tasty Amoco potato wedgies and continued back to Kappa Mutha Fucka. At this point, Matthew vanished and I was left with Deya and Jessika. But then Deya went off to her room. I was really drunk, and I don't know what I talked about with Jessika. It was just really nice having her back around, that's all I remember.

I had the day's second hangover when I awoke from my prework nap. I think I've done my part in celebrating the new spawn of Peggy and Zach. Let's hope no one else reproduces for a little while.

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