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Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   gay marriages in New Paltz
Friday, February 27 2004
I was at the Home Depot today and noticed that some radical changes had been made since I was last there. For one thing, security cameras had been installed throughout the floor space. But then when I went to check out, I saw that the cashiers had been replaced with robotic self-checkout kiosks. There were about four or six of them in a single cluster which was being staffed by a solitary employee. This level of automation came as something of a shock to my system. It made me want to cry out to the remaining employees, "Do you not see? You are being replaced by machines? Who will be left to pay for stuff when robots do all the work?" This thought was joined by another cynical voice in my head pointing out that robotic employees don't need to be tested for drugs (an indignity Home Depot warns all its prospective employees about). Mind you, I've always been interested in automation, but there seemed to be something fundamentally flawed and/or experimental about this setup. Despite the abundant security cameras, it looked like an easy system to rip off, particularly when it's busy.


Kristen called this evening and said it was "a very gay day" down there in New Paltz. I didn't know what she meant so she explained that the mayor of New Paltz had been performing gay marriages all day. Huh? Supposedly it was in the national news and everything. Kristen's friend Melissa was accosted on the street by someone from Channel 4 wanting to know where City Hall was. New Paltz is, it turns out, only the second municipality (after San Francisco) performing such nuptials. What excitement! It felt like a good solid in-you-face to the assholes trying to advance their political careers by appealing to the bigotry of the idiot masses. New Paltz apparently has a Green Party mayor who is only 26 years old, and I guess you need that sort of resumé if you want to shake things up in this stuffy world. I knew that town was cool, but who knew it was this cool? Now, of course, the question is, what town will be the next to perform gay marriages? Biloxi, Mississippi? Gay marriage is starting to get an aura of inevitability about it, like a genie that's going to be hard to stuff back in a bottle. I kind of wish I was single and gay just so I could get gay-married as my own personal fuck you to the worst American administration ever.


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