Osama bin Laden Boulevard
Monday, May 10 2004
This morning I was up early and I found myself reading an article in the New York Times (online, of course) about a town in Florida where people are clamoring to have an avenue recently renamed Dr. Martin Luther King Avenue revert back to its original name. Most of the people living on this avenue are white, and, though insisting that their motives aren't racist, they are quick to point out that property values drop whenever a street is named after America's foremost civil rights leader. This got me to thinking about how funny it would be for a rural road to be named Dr. Martin Luther King Road. It made me want to give this name to Dug Hill Road. Though there is at least one black family on Dug Hill Road, it would probably be politically difficult to rename it. But there might be an easier way. I could get a bunch of labels printed up, bumper-sticker-type-labels color-matched to the Hurley Township road signs, and just rename any road that catches my attention. I could name them after all sorts of improbable American heroes: Millard Filmore, Benedict Arnold, Monica Lewinsky, you name it. The only way to prevent guerilla street renaming would be the posting of guards. Of course, giving directions might take on some additional complications. I can imagine myself saying, "You go about a quarter or a half a mile down Hurley Mountain Road and then take a right onto a road that will either be named Osama bin Laden Boulevard or Dug Hill Road."
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