Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   cat feeding complications
Thursday, October 30 2003
The cat feeding situation at our house has become vastly more complicated since Noah and Edna were devoured (one can assume) by coyotes and Mavis and Clarence came to take their place. Mavis only eats wet food, and since all the other animals also love wet food, we've had to feed her on top of the washing machine, which she is too old to actually jump up onto all by herself. So feeding Mavis had become a labor-intensive task of lifting her up to her dish every time she asked. Recently I bought an Evenflo gate to keep the dogs out of the laundry room so that Mavis could be fed on the floor and get to her dish whenever she wanted it, but the presence of Clarence has caused us to revise our rosy view of a future full of simplicity and self-feeding cats. Clarence seems to like wet food as much as the flies do, and he can manage to get to it no matter where it happens to be. Furthermore, he's so aggressive about eating it that Mavis doesn't stand a chance. So now whenever we feed Mavis, we have to grab Clarence and quarantine him somewhere until Mavis can do her business. The situation is crying out for some sort of fancy microprocessor-controlled invention. I can imagine Mavis wearing a collar containing a magnet that triggers the opening of a robotic feeding station, but it would have to be a pretty smart system to prevent Clarence from sneaking past her. A problematic as the present situation is, the solution is not to resign ourselves to Clarence eating wet food. That's a heroin-like addiction which most be prevented at all cost. Look what it has done to poor Mavis! At this point in her life she'd rather starve to death than eat anything but wet food. All she thinks about when she's awake is wet food. When she sleeps she doesn't even twitch, because wet food is a prey for which catlike rituals are unnecessary.


Another pet-related problem concerns the pet door, which is already destroyed after a year of continuous use. I want to get a replacement that will last, but it's hard to find a good pet door. At least at this time of year, PetSmart always seems to be sold out of the size (and robust construction) I need, and I'm leery of buying anything off the internet without being able to hold it in my hands first.


For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?031030

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