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Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   in the face of events that should have been blowing their minds
Saturday, March 16 2013
This evening after watching an episode of Jeopardy from earlier in the week, Gretchen somehow tricked me into watching Dark Shadows, a quasi-comedic film adaptation of the vaguely-remembered schlock-horror television show from the early 1970s. Possibly because it starred Johnny Depp, Gretchen had high hopes that it would be good. And at first it actually was pretty entertaining. Dark Shadows was at its best when it focused on things usually ignored by dramas about vampires and other supernatural monsters. For example, one would expect a vampire chained up in a box for hundreds of years would have a little trouble adapting to modern times, and sure enough our Barnabas (our vampire hero) is mystified by paved roads, self-powered vehicles, and television sets. However, Dark Shadows started to break down about half way through, as its focus shifted increasingly to the bitchiness of the immortal witch whose unrequited love is the reason Barnabas became a vampire to begin with. By the end it was an unwatchable sequence of tiresome special effects as the witch and Barnabas supernaturally battled, occasionally joined by others with their own supernatural powers. Since it was all magic versus magic, there was no framework of natural laws and it became impossible to maintain even enough suspension of disbelief to avoid being irritated. And it certainly didn't help that by this point the actors themselves seemed bored, mumbling their lines woodenly in the face of events that should have been blowing their minds. In the end it was all a terrible waste of something like two hours of our lives.


For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?130316

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