Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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Friday, September 11 2015
At some point this afternoon, I saw a brownish lump on the edge of the kiddie pool in out yard. From a distance, it looked like maybe a chipmunk was resting there. But no chipmunk sits so still for so long, so my next theory was that it was an inanimate object, probably dog shit. Dogs frequently shit on the grass near the kiddie pool, and it wouldn't be surprising if occasionally their shit ended up in or on the edge of the pool (though I'd never seen this happen before). When I walked over to the pool, though, I saw that the brown object was in fact a fairly large Green Frog, the variety with a greenish head and a bronze body. I went to get the camera, and by the time I returned, the frog had jumped into the pool and submerged him or herself. He or she remained at the pool for the rest of the day, alternating (as amphibians do) between being completely out of the water on the pool's edge and being in the pool itself. Gretchen and I decided to call him Leopold, a reference to Leonard (the Green Frog we'd seen for several days on Twenty Ninth Pond in the Adirondacks).
Gretchen had set me up for a visit to the optometrist in Uptown this afternoon for my first eye examine in at least three years. So, after a quick visit to Hannaford (mostly for Del Monte green bean products, some of which I discovered today) and Herzog's (for hose hardware), there I was, getting my eyes examined. The result of today's examination was two separate prescriptions, one for long distance, and, for the first time, one for viewing things close up. I've had problems with my near vision for a couple years now, and finally I was getting quantitative data to address it. The eye doctor I go to wants to steer people into buying glasses right there, and most people of the age to buy glasses can't imagine any other way. But I've been using EyeBuyDirect.com for several years now, and now (due to my influence) Gretchen uses it too. Websites like that will eventually send mom & pop eyeglass retailers into the same ash heap where record and book stores have gone, but, given that I'm much younger than my years when it comes to internet savvy, that probably won't happen for another fifteen years.
I probably didn't need a glaucoma test, but the optometrist was thorough. Perhaps as a passive-aggressive retaliation for my announcement that I would be getting my glasses elsewhere, the woman at the front didn't give me the little plastic sunglasses to protect my eyes from the glare of the late-afternoon sun shining into my dilated pupils. I stumbled across the parking lot, blocking the sun as best I could with my hands while still allowing enough information in to avoid running into things. After that, I had to drive. Fortunately, there were a pair of sunglasses sitting there for me to wear. I never normally wear sunglasses, but Gretchen often does. Still, I almost had an accident right there on Front Street as I left the Nekos parking lot. It probably would have been better to risk the tiny chance of glaucoma.
Back at the house, my vision was so blurry that I could barely use my computer. This condition lasted well after dark, much longer than expected. Not being able to get much done at my computer, I mixed up some portland cement and used it to fill the divots in the basement slab caused by the removal of those carpet tack strips.


Leopold the Frog in the kiddie pool.


Later when Leopold had come out to rest on the edge of the pool. (Click to enlarge.)


A meme my troll Suzy posted today to commemorate 9Eleven (almost forgot!). (Click to enlarge.)


For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?150911

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