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on charisma
Wednesday, July 7 1999
The guy up the street has a big lankly black Labrador Retriever named Sabbath. Sabbath is extremely well-trained and he is never on a leash when he goes on walks.
Sophie might be fixed and generally asexual, but she is madly in love with Sabbath. Sometimes I'll be sitting here in the living room and Sophie will suddenly go nuts for no apparent reason, squealing and pacing back and forth and standing expectantly by the door. When I look out the window I see Sabbath is out in front, his leg lifted extra high as he pisses copiously all over the stone wall. His urine is always rich and yellow, and there never seems to be any limit to how much he can produce. Inside the apartment, Sophie can't possibly see him from her angle, so I guess she either smells him or recognizes the jangle of the rings on his spiked collar.
Today I was walking Sophie when Sabbath saw her and came running up to give her a warm greeting. Sophie was clearly flattered by the attention and nearly swooned with joy. I had to drag her away just to continue with the walk (and avoid the embarrassment of not having anything to pick up the number two she'd just done right in front of Sabbath's master). Yes, as dogs go, Sabbath is extremely charismatic.
Dan Quayle, on the other hand, is not charismatic at all. Tonight Kim and I were sitting around watching teevee and I was, as usual, flipping from channel to channel with growing exasperation at the lack of quality programming. Then, on CNN, I stumbled upon a choice gem: Dan Quayle giving a campaign speech. As I would at any serious accident, I stopped immediately to watch. Completely aside from the vapid content of his speech (on the subject of family values of course) was the appalling nature of its delivery. You can tell right away, from the flatness and stumbling quality of his enunciation to the vacancy in his eyes that this guy is about as deep as the white on Michæl Jackson. Never mind the astounding fact that Dan Quayle is a serious contender for President of the United States, I'm amazed the guy ever got laid. From watching his performance tonight, I'd say he's got less charisma than your average minimum wage employee at Jack in the Box.
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