The file for which you were searching was not found.
It may have been stolen. It may have been destroyed. It may have been driven to despair and,
lacking a sound moral compass with which to orient itself in this topsy-turvy world,
it may have sought guidance and answers from religious fanatics with
ulterior motives and questionable integrity.
Whatever fate has befallen this file, terrorists are obviously responsible.
Please try not to panic. We ask you instead to hug your neighbor, to hang an American flag
in your window, to impregnate your wife, to stand up for our President, and to immediately
report this missing file to SNITCH, the FBI, the Department of Justice, and your local law enforcement.
We at SNITCH thank you. God bless the United States of America.
