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SNITCH is always interested in hearing success stories and victories
from patriotic, true-blue Americans who have uncovered terrorism lurking
in their neighborhoods, their schools, their churches (and synagogues, too!),
their attics, their basements, or the kids' secret fort next door. Please feel
free to send us email [snitchreport2@hotmail.com] with your
success stories from the front lines of the War on Terrorism, or share your
thoughts below with other patriotic Americans.
Please note: while SNITCH does endorse the concept of responsible free speech (especially when it pertains to exposing terrorists), all feedback to SNITCH must be patriotic, pro-America, and anti-terrorism. In the interests of national security, feedback which does not meet our criteria for patriotism will be considered a terrorist threat and will be immediately forwarded to the FBI and the Department of Justice. |
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"We used to live next door to a couple of dark-skinned men
who had noisy arguments in some weird moon-man language. It used to bug
us an awful lot because they should have been speaking English.
That's when we grew suspicious--obviously they didn't want anyone to
know what they were up to! Then we saw a crumpled-up American
flag in their trash. You can imagine our shock
when we used your Terrorist Test and they turned out to be Level 2 terrorists!
Now the FBI is keeping tabs on them, and we're helping by keeping an eye on that
shifty-looking fellow at the Stop-n-Sip!
" God Bless America, Ed & Louise Harcourt Talahassee, Florida "I've been seeing men wearing nightshirts and these odd pillbox hats going in and out of this building down the street. Acting on advice from SNITCH, I decided to check into it. But when I tried to go inside, they demanded I take off my shoes. I realized this was because they were used to people hiding bombs in their shoes, just like Richard Reid! I went straight home and called the FBI and told them about these Level 5 terrorists, and Agent Peter Damos said he was grateful that patriotic Americans like me are doing our part to ensure our nation's safety." Standing Up For Our Flag, Peter Hoffman Dallas, Texas |
"I was going to miss my bus, and I all I had was a twenty. I asked the fellow
who runs the espresso stand if he would please make change, but he refused to
unless I bought something. I knew he was trying to be a good capitalist,
but this was a little too avaricious, and it struck me as suspicious. So I
reported him to SNITCH and the FBI. Sure enough, he turned out to be a terrorist." Yours in Eternal Vigilance, Ann Bennett New York City "This woman I worked with spent most of her free time belly-dancing. I never thought much of it, after all, to each his or her own, right? But then I learned she gives belly dances to senior citizens...free. Clearly, this was terrorist activity--not only was she trying to lead the elderly straight down the path to Hell with her neo-pagan hedonsim, she was doing it FOR FREE! What kind of American wouldn't charge money for something like that? The SNITCH Test proved me right--not only was she a satanist, she was a Level Three Terrorist. I reported my findings to the FBI. Soon after that, our company underwent layoffs. She was among the first to go." Jesus Is Lord, Tom Finnegan San Francisco, California |
"I loaned a socket set to my neighbor, Jack. When he gave it back,
I offhandedly asked him why he wasn't flying a flag. He said
HE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN IT! I was shocked. I could barely look at him.
When I got home, I reported him to SNITCH. He was a Level 4 terrorist!
So I spread the word and a bunch of us got together
and ran that unAmerican, unpatriotic, World-Trade-Center-destroying bastard
(excuse my language) the hell out of our town. Thanks, SNITCH!" Never Forgetting September 11, George & Helen Wilcox Bloomington, Indiana "I am certain that a group of kids in my neighborhood are using drugs. After that Super Bowl ad, I suddenly realized that this is where terrorism begins--with our children! Then I spotted one of them wearing a "Question Authority" tee-shirt. I believe in free speech and all that, but we are at war, and there are some forms of speech which can't be allowed right now. As Americans we need to stand behind our President and support him in this time of national crisis. So I reported those kids to SNITCH and the FBI as possible terrorists--after all, as our President has said, if you're not with us, you're with the terrorists. Keep up the good work, SNITCH! The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!" Let's Roll! Julie Gross Topeka, Kansas |
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