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Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   the convenience of third world transportation in the age of dot coms
Thursday, June 29 2000
At the new building where I now work, there's more room, more privacy and (best of all) more peace and quiet. For people who actually have to drive to work, though, things are actually more complicated. Parking at the new building requires intelligent planning beyond the capacity of any single employee frazzled by yet another harrowing commute on a Los Angeles freeway. So employees must drop off their cars with a valet. And when it comes time to get their cars back, it's a big hassle, especially if all they really wanting to do is run out for a half hour and get some lunch. So today the head of product development, a laid-back guy named Pete who occassionally surfs Malibu before coming to work, asked if he could borrow my bike. "Sure," I said, not quite sure I could picture him actually sitting on it. Ominously I added, "but whatever you do, don't shift it." I didn't explain as thoroughly as I should have to what extent he was in for a third world experience, but no matter. When he returned it, Pete said of my bike, "That thing is skanky. It's cool, but rough!"
It would make a lot of sense to have a few junk bikes at the office for anyone to borrow on an as-needed basis.
"As-needed" is one of those corporate-speak adjectives against which I have given up the struggle. I simply cannot communicate without it.

Somebody sent me a link to this marvelous web economy bullshit generator, just the thing you need when you've been saddled with the task of coming up with a mission statement or business model, perhaps the third in a month's time for the same fucking dot com!


For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?000629

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