Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   bulldozer of love
Friday, August 18 2006
A feline bulldozer of love wakes me every morning many hours before I have any intention of getting out of bed. That feline is Sylvia, our plump black cat. When she's starved for affection, something that can happen in the middle of the night, she finds the nearest human and rams her forehead into his or her face. It doesn't matter to Sylvia if the human face she is ramming is conscious or not. This morning as she was bustling about across my chest treading and purring, she inadvertantly stepped on one of the large tendons that run vertically on either side of my Adams apple. She must have hit a particularly sensitive spot, because it hurt intensely. I wondered if perhaps this was one of the spots that ninjas reach for when they're doing their infamous "touch of death." If "touch of death" is a real possibility, we're all at risk of being killed by our cats while we sleep. It's not as if they know what they're doing - they're just treading on random spots on our bodies but, like a monkey on a typewriter eventually typing the letter "i", they will eventually touch the spot that can kill us.

This evening, as she watched one Tivo'd women's basketball game after another, I managed to enlist Gretchen's help me in hanging the first sheet of drywall on the sloped ("cathedral") part of the shop ceiling. This ceiling is 75 inches long on its sloped hypotenuse, so the sheet we installed today was 48 inches wide and 75 inches long. I'd bought extra-thick 5/8 inch drywall for this section, so the piece was heavy. Gretchen's involvement was essential, because I needed her to pin the piece in place when I got it more or less where it needed to be. She did this using my "artificial Ray," that I-shaped two by four contraption I'd used to hold up drywall sheets while attaching flat expanses of ceiling all by myself.


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