Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   something of a spouse-pleasing jihad
Sunday, May 28 2017
At some point this afternoon, I went out through the new french doors on Gretchen's library and, using an electric chainsaw and the electric hedge trimmer, I mowed down all the vegetation within the footprint of a deck I will be building out there. Vegetation included blackberry canes, several tree-of-heaven saplings, and a lot of that prolific waist-high weed I've never been able to identify.

A week or so ago, Gretchen was cleaning up in the living room and decided we'd had the bowling trophies long enough. These were the ones I'd salvaged 17 years ago from a West Los Angeles dumpster. For years they'd been arranged in a sequence based on that familiar drawing designed to illustrate the evolution of humans from primitive apes. But it was time to move on. I'd put them in a pile in my laboratory until I could come up with an idea for them. Today I realized the little metal statues of bowlers would make good hooks for hanging things from the laboratory ceiling, even though that ceiling slopes at 45 degrees. Unfortunately, the bottom of each figure ended in a steel bolt, not a screw thread, so I couldn't just screw them into the ceiling. So today I welded the ends of large screws to the ends of those bolts. I must've gotten rather good at welding, as the result (achieved in seconds) was strong and not unduly cluttered with chaotic blobs of metal.
I knew Gretchen would be coming home from her shift at the bookstore hungry, so I made my recent go-to dish: Mexican pasta. It consists a box of bowtie noodles (part of the secret santa gift given to my by my co-worker Ca) and a pan of bean glurp. I would've offered some to Andrea, who was working at the dining room table, but she eats her own food, which is super healthy stuff like kale salad and quinoa.
After I was done making dinner, I didn't eat any. Instead, I went out into the yard and did a quick mow of the part nearest the house. Just because I'd let it get so tall, it had been looking kind of scruffy even after the big mow back on Tuesday. The mowing tonight was easy and made the part I re-did look great. Gretchen had suggested it needed a remow, and I was on something of a spouse-pleasing jihad.


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