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just mildly depressed
Monday, August 14 2023
location: rural Hurley Township, Ulster County, NY
This morning I was concerned because my five-figure severance had not yet been posted to my joint bank account (at least it hadn't been last time Gretchen checked), though it had been more than eight days since I'd signed the agreement that would result in my getting that severance. Was my old employer pulling an Elon Musk/Donald Trump? I feel so negative about sociopathic corporations and the egomaniacs who control them that I wouldn't be surprised. So this morning I emailed several people in HR and the administration of the sprawling private equity conglomerate that had laid me off asking about this. But then when I mentioned this to Gretchen, she checked out bank balance and saw the transfer had actually happened on Friday. So now my only concern regarding my old job is how exactly I apply for COBRA. Having a job kind of sucks, but being jobless sucks even more, which is something I told myself pretty much every day of the nearly five years I had my last job.
My day was punctuated by attending to Neville's needs. His paw seems no better than it was on Saturday morning. He still doesn't want to put any weight on it, though he's become more adept at getting around without using it. To do so, he has to behave like a three legger. The only real improvement I've noticed is that he no longer screams in pain when he puts his right arm into the wrong configuration or I press against his body in some way that makes him uncomfortable. Indeed, now I'm finding I can manipulate the joints of his right arm without any complaints at all. So I'm not sure why he is still loathe to use that limb. I wouldn't say the doxycycline course he's on is helping, so I'm pretty sure that the Fulton County vet was wrong with her theory that his problem was the result of a tick-borne illness. But what else can it be? There are still no signs of surface injury, bruising, swelling, or joints being out of place in any manner.
By 3:00pm I was mentally exhausted (or perhaps just mildly depressed due to the state of my job search), so I ended up taking a nap. And then I took a bath, which solves pretty much all physical problems (including itches from the mosquito bites that happen every time I have to carry Neville out so he can perform a bodily function, muscle aches from all the digging up at the cabin, and lingering sand in my hair). I keep thinking I will have some revelation in the bathtub that will steer me to do something I haven't thought of with respect to my job search, but so far it hasn't happened.
Gretchen was out tonight dining and socializing with her friend Lynne from Connecticut, so I made myself a small amount of shell-shaped pasta to add to the kale & bean stew Gretchen had made last night (there was still enough left for a fairly big meal for one person).
I was in bed hoping to fall asleep when Gretchen returned. She said she was delighted to find me awake so she could "debrief." Somehow she had missed all the breaking news, particularly the indictments doled out this evening in Georgia related to the Donald Trump crime spree as well as those plucky kids in Montana winning a case against their state (which a judge decided was violating its constitution by promoting the production and consumption of fossil fuels). After she absorbed all of that, Gretchen told me that Lynne's daughter, who is in her early 20s, is enrolled in a software development boot camp (it's costing $17,000) but fully expects to "graduate" with a six figure job offer. This had Gretchen thinking I was selling myself too cheap in my current job hunt. Maybe she is right, I said, but even selling myself cheap hasn't gotten me hired anywhere yet or even resulted in much interest.
A heavy rain had started just before Gretchen got home and it would continue all night long.
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