Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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   mummified Ring-necked Snake
Wednesday, March 23 2016
The morning was warm enough (and the woodstove cold enough) for me to empty out the stove's modest accumulation of ashes after only nineteen relatively-balmy days. I decided to do it today because I'd be turning over the stove for the next two days to Jeremy, Sarah the Vegan's new boyfriend, who would be taking over the house to paint it. I also needed to move the indoor wood rack (with its 331 pounds of wood) out to the south deck to get it out of the way for the painting, and moving it would be a perfect opportunity to weigh it. As always, I added the stats (762.35 pounds of wood burned to produce 5.0 pounds of ashes) to my growing data log:

Time
period
Number of daysAsh
weight
Est. firewood burntEst. firewood/day
Nov 14-Dec 19 20133613.5 lbs0.27 cords29 lbs
Dec 20 2013-Jan 22 20143320.5 lbs0.41 cords48 lbs
Jan 23-Feb 19 20142824 lbs0.48 cords66.23 lbs
Feb 20-Mar 20 20142916 lbs0.32 cords42.63 lbs
Apr 21 2014-Aug 16 201411810.6 lbs0.21 cords6.94 lbs
Aug 17-Dec 12 201411820.8 lbs0.41 cords13.62 lbs
Dec 13-Dec 26 2014145.8 lbs0.116 cords32.02 lbs
Dec 27 2014-Feb 2 201538 (31)13.75 lbs0.275 cords27.96 lbs (34.27 lbs)
Feb 3-Mar 5 20153112.25 lbs0.245 cords (actual firewood burned closer to 0.75 cords)31.12 (inaccurate)
Mar 6-Mar 31 2015268.4 lbs0.168 cords (actual firewood burned closer to 0.25 cords)24.97 (inaccurate)
Apr 1-Jul 25 201511611.8 lbs0.236 cords (much of which was paper ash)7.86
July 26-Oct 1 20156810.35 lbs0.207 cords (nearly all of which was paper/cardboard ash)11.7
Oct 2-Nov 19 20154910.45 lbs0.209 cords (est)
1229.4 lbs (measured)
0.293 cords (calculated)
16.4 (est)
25.09 (calculated)
Nov 20-Dec 23 20153410.85 lbs0.217 cords (est)
1771.67 lbs (measured)
0.422 cords (calculated)
24.66 (est)
52.1 (calculated)
Dec 24 2015-Jan 27 20163510.50 lbs0.210 cords (est)
2133.21 lbs (measured)
0.508 cords (calculated)
23.19 (est)
60.95 (calculated)
Jan 28 2016-Mar 3 20163613.25 lbs2393.05 lbs (measured)
0.570 cords (calculated)
66.47 (calculated)
March 4 2016-Mar 22 2016195.00 lbs762.35 lbs (measured)
0.182 cords (calculated)
40.12 (calculated)
[REDACTED]

I drank some kratom tea before another job interview today, this time with the human resources person at the animal rights organization I'd applied to earlier. The tea made me conversational and rambly, but still I didn't have a good answer for the question, "What's an example of a time you didn't communicate well with someone else and what did you do to remedy it?" The only way to handle such a question is to concoct a weak example and then obfuscate with technical details, which is precisely what I did. Still, the interview went well and I advanced to the next round.
Later I painted a tiny painting of a rhinoceros, using yellow and blue glazes to make a nice color swap on the foreground creature with respect to the background. Maybe I overdid the yellow a bit, but a painting this small and done this quickly will always be far from perfect:

Throughout the day, I continued clearing the living room, dining room, and kitchen of things to enable painting that will (hopefully) commence there tomorrow. Jeremy had actually showed up this morning to repair some cracked tape high beneath the cathedral ceiling. Meanwhile, my repairs to the ice-damming-damaged drywall beneath one of the living room's collar ties is complete, with almost no evidence of a repair having ever been done. Some things (like welding) have been a steep learning curve for me, but without too much practice, I'm now able to produce flawless repairs in drywall that require almost no sanding to complete.
In the living room is an old armoire we use as a liquor cabinet. To clear the wall behind it for painting, I moved it two or three feet westward from where it has been for the last 13.5 years. I was amazed by what I found on the freshly-exposed floor. There were numerous cat toys, including six or seven rubber bands, several plastic rings from apple cider (or, dating back to our pre-vegan years, milk) jugs, and a number of toys from a pet store. There was also a completely-mummified Ring-necked Snake a little over 12 inches in length, a piece of bark, and more than 100 mouse turds.


For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?160323

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