Your leaking thatched hut during the restoration of a pre-Enlightenment state.

 

Hello, my name is Judas Gutenberg and this is my blaag (pronounced as you would the vomit noise "hyroop-bleuach").



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Like my brownhouse:
   shitting in the winter woods with dogs
Monday, January 27 2014
It's difficult to take a shit in the woods in the winter when one is walking dogs. This morning when I substituted for Gretchen on dog walking duties, I suddenly had an urgent need for a brownhouse when I was near the barn at the end of the Farm Road. There is no brownhouse in that region, so that meant I would have to act like a bear. But if I just squatted and shat in the snow, the dogs would have swooped in and immediately eaten it all. Objectively, that might not be as horrible as we as humans have been conditioned to believe, but I nevertheless wanted to prevent such an outcome. In warmer weather, the solution is to find a large rock, shit next to that, and then tip the rock over onto the fecal pile so as to lock it away for the next 50 years from any large vertebrates. In the winter, though, large rocks are inextricably frozen to the ground, so one has to look for other solutions. The one I chose was the "hollow tree option." Fortunately there was a hollow sawed-off stump at the perfect level with a void deep enough that even the longest of dog tongues could not reach to its bottom. There were no convenient leaves to serve as toilet paper, so I had to use snow instead. That was like a shot of espresso, and it provided better results than any alternative save water from a babbling brook.

I stayed up until 3:00 am the next day working diligently on a number of things, including that Lightroom plugin and the capture of some images that I wanted to be able to project on canvases for tracing purposes.


For linking purposes this article's URL is:
http://asecular.com/blog.php?140127

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